An Open Letter To All Of My Friends Who Take Selfies

5 May

Dear Friends Who Take Selfies,

I want you to know that I love it when you post pictures of yourself. I know selfies get a lot of bad press, but I think they’re rad. They give me a little window into your life, and you’d be amazed at how much I can get out of one little photo.

I love your pictures because I love seeing what you’re wearing – the outfits you build give me ideas about how to mix it up with my own wardrobe, and seeing you work your shit gives me courage to try clothing that I otherwise might have thought was too outlandish or revealing.

I love seeing how you do your hair and makeup. You look like a hot babe and I wish you would make YouTube tutorials explaining how you get your eyeliner just so. I want you to post pictures every time you change your hair, because seeing you cycle through all those neon colours gives me great ideas about what to do next with my own hair.

I love when you take selfies in your house. It’s neat to see where you live. When your place is cluttered, it makes me feel better about my own messy apartment. When your house is neat, it encourages me to get my shit together and do the damn dishes already. I like seeing the things you own and the art you put on your walls, because those things tells me so much about who you are and what you care about.

I love when you take selfies while on vacation. I don’t get to travel often, so your pictures allow me to live vicariously through you. The excitement on your face when you take a selfie at the Trevi Fountain or by the Arc de Triomphe is perfect and beautiful. I’ve seen a thousand pictures of the Louvre Pyramid, but the most interesting ones are the ones with you in it. If I wanted to see a picture of the Great Wall of China all on its own, I could just google the damn thing. You’re what makes those pictures special.

Mostly I love your selfies because I love seeing you feel good about yourself. I love how your face glows when you look like a million bucks and you know it. I love when you celebrate yourself. You deserve to be celebrated.

It’s easy for people to roll their eyes at selfies and make jokes about girls who just want attention, but the truth is that for lots of women – especially women of colour, trans women, disabled women and all the other women who see their existences erased in mainstream media – posting pictures of themselves is a way of challenging our culture’s narrow beauty standards.

Selfies are a way of saying, “I love myself, and I will fight anyone who tries to change that fact.”

Selfies are not a question. They’re not asking “Do you think I’m pretty?”

Selfies are a statement: “I am here.”

I see you.

I love you.

You matter.

Your selfies are inspirational. That might sound corny, but it’s true. When I see you love yourself, it helps me love myself. I suspect the same is true for lots of other people who see your pictures.

So please keep taking selfies. Please fill my Facebook and Twitter feeds with your wonderful face. Every picture you post fills me with so much joy. I love seeing you.

Obligatory selfie because what else would I add to this post?

Obligatory selfie because what else would I add to this post?

706 Responses to “An Open Letter To All Of My Friends Who Take Selfies”

  1. daftconfessions June 9, 2015 at 5:13 pm #

    Lovely post! ❤

  2. audiette June 10, 2015 at 1:05 am #

    Reblogged this on Audiette's.

  3. musicalmusings13 June 12, 2015 at 2:21 am #

    Reblogged this on nolongerfearthenight.

  4. FiveSSSSS June 12, 2015 at 1:15 pm #

    I was a snob about selfies ’til I found myself single over 40 and now having to carefully “curate” my facebook feed …agh! Luckily my 3 married sisters take one for the team at family occasions!

  5. asavarish June 15, 2015 at 3:39 am #

    Haha. What a fresh perspective! Loved it. 😀 🙂

  6. K June 15, 2015 at 4:23 am #

    Spot on, thank you! xx

  7. runneth0ver June 18, 2015 at 11:17 am #

    Liked this read a lot, it seems to be about spreading some love 🙂 I also look behind the face on the selfie and notice things in the surrounding. I don´t do selfies myself though, since I´m a bit of a shy person. But thats my choice, and it doesn´t mean I don´t appreciate other people sharing selfies.

  8. margerites62 June 18, 2015 at 11:52 pm #

    Reblogged this on margerites62.

  9. KJ June 22, 2015 at 4:25 pm #

    I’m sold!

  10. prachidhaka June 24, 2015 at 9:18 am #

    Reblogged this on readwhichnovels.

  11. mysteryfishy June 26, 2015 at 2:49 pm #

    This is brilliantly written- it gives me a new perspective on selfies!

  12. R.R. Wolfgang June 27, 2015 at 5:31 am #

    Reblogged this on R.R. Wolfgang and commented:
    Yes. Yes. I have heard so many folks slam selfies, even selfies of moms or dads with their kids. It’s egocentric. It’s shameless attention-seeking, promoting the same for the next generation. You know what’s awesome? Getting a pic of yourself being silly with your kid, so, when they’re older, they’ll see it and see the look of joy on your face, and know they were always loved. I mean, who remembers when they’re two?

    My main question is this – if you think someone is posting a pic because they crave attention, does that say something bad about the person who supposedly craves attention, or that your mind so quickly went to the negative? Why must we be so hard on those around us? Why, if someone is struggling with their appearance and wants to post a pic that says, ‘look at me. I feel good today” – why can’t we support them? Why constantly focusing on the negative?

    This post says it way better than I ever could! The internet makes the world a smaller place, one that is so much easier to find ways to spread love, instead of hate.

    So, I see you! I’ll post a selfie shortly. 🙂

    • dianasschwenk December 1, 2015 at 12:30 am #

      Ha! Love this post. And love your selfie. By the way, I come here via Jennifer today. ❤
      Diana xo

      • R.R. Wolfgang December 3, 2015 at 6:02 pm #

        Thanks so much for the kind comment and for stopping by. 🙂

  13. aplis7 June 27, 2015 at 7:23 am #

    Reblogged this on Aplis Poetry.

  14. ladyquirky June 27, 2015 at 5:19 pm #

    Reblogged this on The Accidental Boxer and commented:
    This is a great piece about a selfie-appreciator. The thing is… For me it all started out as a joke… But, now I see it as an opportunity to show me exactly where I am.

  15. ladyquirky June 27, 2015 at 5:20 pm #

    I just had to reblog this.

  16. aatirakakroo June 28, 2015 at 2:01 pm #

    Reblogged this on Inaureoled and commented:
    ” There are too many selfies on your media, you’re obsessed with yourself ”
    Maybe, I’m comfortable with the idea of me,the event,the place,the situation and the thought of seeing myself and experiencing the whole scenario again as a memory in those selfies.

  17. jiselordonez June 29, 2015 at 11:22 am #

    Love it, I love selfies!

  18. jiselordonez June 29, 2015 at 11:23 am #

    Reblogged this on cielorvianca.

  19. teenagelunatics July 1, 2015 at 1:45 am #

    Reblogged this on teenage lunatics and commented:
    Social media has become a regular part of our lives. From liking to commenting to posting, we have a lot of people out there who judge our every single move. And one thing that a lot of people judge is the selfie frenzy. Personally, I take selfies, but I just don’t post them because ehh…I just don’t want to. I feel that this post by @TheBelleJar really grasps that taking selfies is ok and we should be proud of who we are and not to judge those who take selfies because honestly they’re just showing that they love themselves:)

  20. teenagelunatics July 1, 2015 at 1:45 am #

    Preach sister!

  21. AmbitionGirlsRocks 🎸 July 9, 2015 at 3:56 am #

    I love your post, I just wish other women shared your mind frame and not one of needing to be like others and boast their self-esteem through others approval. But your way of looking at it is very inspirational.

  22. Safeera Sarjoo July 10, 2015 at 10:10 am #

    Reblogged this on and commented:
    My first Reblog! I love this take on Selfies! They often get a bad reputation but I admit I love a good selfie and share many of the sentiments in this post.
    Enjoy the read!

  23. YASMINHSN July 21, 2015 at 3:36 am #

    Reblogged this on Little Deduction.

  24. karlaland July 22, 2015 at 7:31 am #

    Nice point of view, thanks for sharing 🙂

    • Gagandeep July 31, 2015 at 6:26 pm #

      I loved how you brought the positive side to it… reblogged at 🙂

  25. mburnsoh July 22, 2015 at 10:23 pm #

    Reblogged this on Middle American Geekery.

  26. kataglipay July 24, 2015 at 10:06 am #

    Aw…what a nice post! It gave great vibes. The caption in your pic just made me laugh. Hehe..

  27. justanotherfdupteen July 24, 2015 at 10:41 pm #

    Love love love 🙂 if you have the chance please read mine just started thanks xx

  28. Gagandeep July 31, 2015 at 6:24 pm #

    Reblogged this on Gd's Corner and commented:
    Never looked at it this way… The author beautifully gives a meaningful and positive angle to it.

  29. valeriekono August 16, 2015 at 8:16 am #

    Wow! What a brilliant post! Love everything about it so much! Your positive attitude is just amazing!!! So happy I found this post and YOU, gorgeous girl!😻 hope you’re having a great day 🙂

  30. D Mac September 18, 2015 at 5:19 pm #

    Not what I expected at all

  31. D Mac September 18, 2015 at 5:20 pm #

    I wasn’t finished – refreshing view. Loved it.

  32. wander + whim September 19, 2015 at 8:06 pm #

    The end of summer is here! I’ve tagged you to participate in the Sweater Weather Tag!
    Here’s mine:
    I hope to read yours soon!
    Happy Autumn
    xxo, W.

  33. kerriemily October 4, 2015 at 9:53 am #

    Reblogged this on messymadmotherhood.

  34. Exile from Guyland October 8, 2015 at 1:20 pm #

    Right on! Selfies are just a legitimate form of expression like writing or anything else. Whatever the purpose of a particular selfie, it is just meant to express the person’s current state of mind, looks, location, activity, etc. No need to hate on it!

  35. thephotographyconfidential October 11, 2015 at 11:32 am #

    Nice point. But whenever I see people traveling and only taking selfies I am like… please keep also memories of PLACES you’ve been to. But sure sending selfies shows a little attention, which is still good.

  36. joshinterest October 24, 2015 at 12:21 pm #

    Ahhh the selfie. The pinnacle of narcissism. I don’t take selfies, but I also enjoy them. I can see how desperately my friends are trying to fit the constraints of ‘attractive’.

  37. The Empress November 15, 2015 at 12:33 pm #

    A positive take on selfies. That’s a pretty selfie you posted there.

  38. User December 16, 2015 at 8:16 am #

    Themes Best selfies hoth ttp://

  39. Nate Maingard January 18, 2016 at 3:39 pm #

    I frickin love this!

  40. Breearies January 20, 2016 at 7:56 pm #

    Reblogged this on creative introvert and commented:
    Very nice article!! Inspiring and I love it!! Just what I needed!!

  41. Giuseppina February 4, 2016 at 1:16 pm #

    I have posted only two selfies – – I’ve tried on those rare occasions when I “look good” and even then, my photogenetics has chronic dysplasia. So those two – I thought – were cute. Yours, by the way, is adorable!!


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