Leigh Anne “That Nice Woman Sandra Bullock Played In The Blind Side” Tuohy recently posted the following picture and caption on her Facebook and Instagram accounts:
“We see what we want! It’s the gospel truth! These two were literally huddled over in a corner table nose to nose and the person with me said “I bet they are up to no good” well you know me… I walked over, told them to scoot over. After 10 seconds of dead silence I said so whats happening at this table? I get nothing.. I then explained it was my store and they should spill it… They showed me their phones and they were texting friends trying to scrape up $3.00 each for the high school basketball game! Well they left with smiles, money for popcorn and bus fare. We have to STOP judging people and assuming and pigeon holing people! Don’t judge a book by its cover or however you’d like to express the sentiment! Accept others and stoping seeing what you want to see!!!”
The comments on both posts are full of people praising her – telling her how awesome she is, how open-minded, how kind. Reading these responses is completely baffling – like, did these people and I all read the same words?
Let’s break down what happened here:
1. Two teenagers were sitting alone and completely minding their own business.
2. A white woman decides that based on the fact that they are “huddled” in corner “nose to nose,” they must be “up to no good.” Because obviously whenever Black people (especially Black men) gather in public, it’s bad news for the rest of us!
3. Another white woman, one Leigh Anne “I Adopted A Black Boy So I Can’t Possibly Be Racist” Tuohy, decides that White Lady #1 is wrong. Which is actually the correct assumption for Ms. Tuohy to make, so I guess this is where some people are getting confused because we see that her intent is good, and that makes us want to believe that the action that follows will also be good. She’s at a crossroad here – two roads diverged, etc. Had she taken the road less travelled, Ms. Tuohy might have said to her friend, “Wow, you’re being really racist right now! I’m not comfortable with how this conversation is going.” Instead, she decided to confront the teenagers who, as a reminder, have done absolutely nothing wrong.
4. Leigh Anne Tuohy walks over to the two boys and sits there in silence. I’m sure that wasn’t scary for two Black teenagers at all, especially given recent events.
5. After what was certainly the most awkward ten seconds of those boys’ lives, Ms. Tuohy asks what’s “happening” at the table. Like, other than two teenagers sitting there talking like anyone sitting at a table might do? Some kids are hanging out and chatting. That is what’s happening.
Unsure of the correct answer to this question – other than “we are two friends sitting together and not causing any trouble,” which probably seemed too obvious for them to point out – the boys remain silent.
6. Leigh Anne tells them that this is her store and they need to “spill.” Again, these kids have done nothing except be in public and be Black.
7. After being interrogated by this woman, and probably afraid that at the very least she’s about the call the cops, the boys show her their phones. This part just breaks my brain, like, these two kids had to show this woman evidence that they are doing exactly what they seem to be doing: sitting at a table and having a conversation.
8. Apparently satisfied with the evidence the boys have presented her with, Leigh Anne Tuohy gives them bus fare and money for popcorn, but not before she has White Lady #1 take her picture with them.
9. Ms. Tuohy then posts this picture to social media and receives thousands of responses lauding her for being such a good person.
Leigh Anne Tuohy profiled two Black kids, invaded their privacy and interrogated them, but somehow people are behaving as if this is some kind of wonderful social justice moment. No. Not even a little. This is some fucked up racial profiling combined with white saviourism, and it is racist as hell. Assuming that those kids were doing something bad was racist. Assuming that she could take up space at their table was racist. Insisting that they talk to her was disrespectful and racist. Wanting evidence that they weren’t up to no good was racist. Treating those boys as props to make her look good and then posting this picture publicly (and honestly, I wonder if the boys consented to that) is incredibly racist.
Also, can we talk about how problematic using the phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover” is when it comes to talking about race? First of all, it begins with the assumption that the “cover” (or in this case, skin) tells you something unappealing about the contents of the book or person. It also implies that there is something unattractive or bad about the “cover” (or, again, skin). I can’t believe that I have to say this, but: there is nothing wrong or bad about Black skin. Black skin is not unpleasant or ugly, and to imply that dark skin might devalue someone is really, really fucked up.
Black people aren’t things. They don’t exist just so that white people can make a point about themselves. These are two real kids who not only had to endure this woman’s microaggressions but have now had their image splashed all over social media – the Facebook picture alone has 150,000 likes and over 12,000 shares. Step away for a hot second from this white woman’s narrative, and think about how those teenagers must feel – having their privacy invaded, having assumptions made about them based on their race, and now having a white woman use their images to get praise for herself.
Now tell me again about how Leigh Anne Tuohy did a good thing.
UPDATE:
One of the two teens involved has responded on Instagram (his name has been blurred out for privacy):
Person One aka Teen Leigh Anne Tuohy approached at KFC:
Yeah people don’t know what really happened because I actually had money I have a job and have had one for over a year I was gonna pay for my brother the other guy in the picture but he was insisting on waiting on his uncle but his phone was dying so we were charging it which is the reason we were in KFC in the first place.and the game was only a 3 min walk up the street I don’t see why she said bus fare that kinda ticked me off a little but the way she worded it is making us sound less fortunate and that isn’t the case at all & when she came over to us she never mentioned her initial reason was because of her friends comment im just now finding that out
Person Two:
May I ask how she asked for the photo?
Person One:
Yeah she never actually asked for it as she was handing us the money she was like “hey you know what I think this would be a great picture” and everyone with her was yeah totally so we just kinda went along with the situation like sure why not your Michael Oher’s mom but the whole time I was thinking you know why’d she come up to us in the first place I was still clueless up until she posted the picture on social media and stated “the person with me said I bet they’re up to no good.”
The Belle Jar 
We are our own worst enemy…I’ll just leave it at that!
I TOTALLY disagree with your article. You people need to stop trying to sensationalize everything and cynically criticize every good deed under the sun and mind your own business. Your existence in this world is to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God. You have failed to do that, in stead using that time to criticize those who help others when YOU DON’T!
I’m not white, but I don’t ever mind if someone was kind to me, helped me out because they assumed I needed it. I DO NOT MIND. I APPRECIATE EVEN the thought. Racism has to do with description, mistreatment and belittling others. The fact that YOU would feel offended instead of appreciative if someone was offering help you didn’t need is only due to two things:
–You are an arrogant arse who feel anyone being superior than you is unbearable;
–You don’t care about others and are narcissistic, so you hate it when people do right because you think it makes people like you who don’t do it look bad.
Guess what? Your article along with people comments just revealed who are the jerks. You don’t need to twist black and white and shame good people. Your words show you are a phony, a pharisee- a person who won’t lift a finger to help but have time and all the enthusiasm to criticize everyone who does.
You are a jerk. You so not represent other races by the way. We simply don’t recognize you.
Judging from your rant, you either you didn’t read the post or you completely missed what it was saying.
Or ur a complete idiot i completly agree with that post this is a very ignorant post and its wants creatingthe hate
Your response is bias do to how you started with “you people”. Don’t pass jugdemrnt or come to conclusion when you cannot identify the issue instead of going straight to a person/culture.
You lost relevance the moment you typed “you people”.
Beat it Mad-graph Maddy….
Your comment lost significance the moment you typed “YOU PEOPLE”….so, beat it Mad-Graph Maddy….
Your not white?? Your not black either, you people is racism by the way, only it’s not racist it’s predjudice. And your emotional knee jerk reaction shows your level of comprehension as you misdefined what racism is. And who is we, stand up for your own comments! Maybe you should look at it from both sides the person who numbered those responses has a very valid point.
Or, you just aren’t someone that goes around looking for help from other people. Maybe you don’t want someone to assume you need help because you are independent and totally capable of taking care of yourself. Offering help doesn’t make it racist. The invasive, assuming, and self-gratifying way that it was done is racist. She was helping herself, not them.
We wouldn’t even be reading this and judging if the store owner was a black man and the teenagers were white or either any other color as long as the minority owned the store. No one other than the 2 parties, including the author, knows the intentions or feelings on either side. Stop digging at humanity!
I get the feeling that maybe she interrogated them and all that to prove a point to her racist friend(s). As far as looking for proof goes. (I’m a black man)
I think maybe she was interrogating and searching for proof just to prove a point to her idiot friend. She clearly didn’t think they were doing bad, and there was awkwardness because the teens didn’t know who she was or why she was bothering them.
I read it the same way. Understanding what I do about this woman from the reading I’ve done (words written by Michael Lewis, Mike Oher himself and others), my interpretation was that she was simply looking to prove a point and teach her friend a lesson as opposed to ending the conversation by saying, “That’s racist” — showing instead of stating, if you will. Leigh Anne seems to just have a more upfront and, what some might call abrasive, style of interacting with people. As for the way she approached and spoke to the boys, the waiting and saying “spill it” is more or less just “mom speak”.. She was being a mom.
She’s not their mom, and while she no doubt meant well, she still put them in the position of proving themselves to a racist.
Why should they have to do that? Why should their day be interrupted by her friend’s bigotry?
Checking up on them may have been done to prove a point, but those two kids still left that place reminded that their skin colour made them inherently suspicious. She educated her friend at the expense of their piece of mind and frankly any grown woman who needs that kind of education is unlikely to learn anyway, so it was also probably a waste of time.
She did not challenge the friend. She took her “friends” suspicion and acted on it. Her behavior was based on that suspicion. Call it racist or whatever you want: it immediately classified these young men in a negative way. I’m a 6 foot, brown skin guy, a school teacher, and not given to crime but I’ve been treated exactly like this just because I walked into a store and browsed. Or looked for something I needed. This is America. Lord, how I wish I had stayed in Japan when I had a chance to be an expat!
She didn’t need to prove that these boys weren’t up to “no good”. She needed to prove her friend was racist.
I totally agree with you
This is exactly the reason why our young black men end up dead while minding their own business
Where did she get the idea she had the right to approach these young men and worst saying these Things to them. It is damn racist and she and everyone else who praised her does not even realize it is. Would she have treated two white boys the same?
This is the one thing white people DO NOT GET, we have a right to sit in public and have a conversation without explaining to anyone with a messed up mind what we are doing,…. Gees people
“Would she have treated two white boys the same?” Perhaps she would have. You don’t know this!
“Don’t judge a book by its cover ”
What cover is that exactly, Leigh Ann?
I used to be a white, male teenager, just like every other white male adult. Do you know how many times my friends and I were approached by adults, asking what we were up to? More times than I’ll ever be able to recount. Teenage males of ANY color, in a group are ALWAYS going to be looked at with suspicion by the average adult. I never called anyone racist for butting into my business when they got nosy about why we were loitering or what we were doing at any given place/time. This article is trying extra, extra hard to create a race issue where none exists. You truly can’t win in this country these days. You give black kids cab fare to get where they’re going and you’re a racist. You say “all lives matter” and you’re a racist. What will the race baiters come up with next?
Your argument would make sense except her post and comments about a book’s cover make it CLEAR that this WAS racial, or at least she thought it was. If you disagree, then the person you’re actually calling a race baiter is Ms Tuohy.
Totally ridiculous!! Couple teenagers loitering always looks like trouble. I think people are really being sensitive about race these days. Not saying racism doesn’t exist, but it isn’t even close to what it gets hyped up to be. I am not Black so I am sure I will be told that I don’t understand what it’s like. I think you don’t know what it’s like to be white unless you are white. Point is… It might be true that we might not totally understand others points of view, but that is a far cry from racism! If you think the average white person is a racist on some level, you would be dead wrong!
An article like this is just race baiting!! Total B.S. Who writes this stuff?!
Jake you need to understand that black people know white people WAY better than white people know black people. Historically, their survival sometimes depended upon knowledge of white culture. Culturally, the vast majority of popular entertainments (then and now) were shows, stories, and music filled w white people & white experience. So no Jake…you don’t understand what it’s like, and you sound like a naïve, questionably-educated yokel who has failed to venture very far outside his own backyard, privilege, and entitlement. Btw Jake: I’m white. But your post offended me too. Dig deeper brah.
How delusional. For anyone who is not white, let me tell you what it is like. It is completely without event. As a white person I never have to wonder if I will be followed through a store, if this traffic stop will result in an unfair arrest, I never have to wonder if the way I dress, carry myself, or talk will be used by the majority population to typecast, discriminate against, call the cops on, and maybe even justify my homicide.
Educate yourself Jake. You are broken record that has been playing for far too long.
Loitering? Are you for real? They were sitting at a table in a restaurant. In what way does that look like trouble? And of course the average white person is racist on some level. It is impossible not to absorb the bullshit about skin colour that pervades societies where white people are considered the “majority” (even though in many areas, there are more people who are black – but they don’t count, apparently).
The point I think he was trying to make was that all this article is doing is creating an argument where there doesn’t need to be one. So a white lady helped some black kids. White people cant help black people? Or is a white person not allowed to ask what two possibly suspicious looking kids are up to just because the kids happen to be black. The author of this article is making assumptions based on the fact that there were black and white people interacting. We really have no idea what Ms. Tuohy’s motive was in all this so whats the point in disscussing it and trying to make it into some social justice issue. Maybe she’s racist, I really dont know but im not going to base my opinion of her on this article. Lets focus on some real issues and stop trying to make everything into a social justice issue.
Were they eating food? If not, that is loitering. Please use some common sense before acting incredulous.
“We are being sensitive” “The racial thing is being hyped”. NO. We are not being sensitive enough and the racial issue is underestimated. What happened to those two teenagers in the coffee shop. Imagine something like that happening to them every day multiple times a day literally, that is my reality as a Nigerian not even a black American woman. Sorry sir. For the Africans and the people of African descent smart enough to wake the fuck up we are going to bring as much awareness and change as possible.
Yes, I don’t know “…what it’s like to be white…” but I do know that just “being” that pale does not automatically have a negative connotation. Her motivtaion is clear, Mr. Dittburner: “…I said so whats happening at this table? I get nothing.. I then explained it was my store and they should spill it…” This implies consequences if they don’t respond to her violation of their privacy. Doesn’t this violate their right to freedom of speech and freedom of assembly? No, if you suspect they are crooks. That’s what she suspected. And she acted accordingly! Then she walks around with her chest puffed out as if she had done a good deed. No, Mr. Dittburner, I don’t know what it’s like to be that kind of white because my mind doesn’t work like hers when it comes to skin color. My motto is: “Hail fellow, well met…”, instead of “Hey, fellow, turn it over…” Sad, sad!
If we use research and a real scientific method to analyze these ” Race Baiting” issues as you call them. You will see that there is racial profiling at play no matter the class level or social status for African Americans.
Many right wing white males who cannot deal with their emotions around race, and just with their emotions in general feel super threatened by the conversation of how whiteness threatens their masculinity and power structure. So, they portray a extremist fundamental ideology.
I will chalk the the race construct deniers and climate change deniers into one basket. Their fundamentalist paradigm is what wrong with this country and the world. Can we get a rapture to take these people away sooner than later. Please o ‘lord
I’d say douchey, at best. A couple of teenagers loitering in her restaurant. She asks why they’re doing so. Decides to help them out. Then takes a picture, so she looks good. There’s a strong possibility that her friend was making a racist assumption. But teenagers just hanging out, or loitering makes plenty of people apprehensive.
Sitting at a table in a restaurant is NOT loitering in no way shape or form, really!
So what exactly would Ms. Tuohy have to do to prove she’s not a racist, if adopting a black boy isn’t enough? Have you ever tried to adopt somebody or be a foster parent? It’s a gigantic pain in the ass. People don’t just do it as a publicity stunt. My parents did it for four years, and they almost adopted a Hispanic kid because they fell in absolute love with him. They had this kid for nine months, jumped through all the bureaucratic hoops, and in the end had to give him up to his grandma, where he would still be in contact with his drug-addict biological mother and father. It tore my parents up and they decided to stop being foster parents soon after. So your flippant attitude toward taking somebody into one’s home, making them a part of your family, showing them unconditional love, and giving them a new lease on life is really insulting to me and my family. You should think before the next time you decide to shit out your mouth.
Was this almost adopted kid from Spain? If not, then he’s not Hispanic. That’s a colonized term used to erase indigenous (yes, Native American) identity. Enough with the ignorance and arrogance.
You are right on about the foster-care piece!
I just have to say here that my parents ABSOLUTELY adopted me as a publicity stunt. It was to gain favor with all their rich friends, they hated me and treated me poorly my entire life. I am not saying that this lady adopted for this reason, I am just saying that it does happen.
Being a racist and falling in line with racist assumptions are two different things. Same with sexism, we all have said some thing that was socially acceptable and sexist at some point. Does that make us against gender equality no, does that make us a part of the problem yes.
Also the idea that if you adopt a black child that makes you exempt from all racist actions is false. Does being married make all men feminist. The acceptance of one person does not absolve anyone of potentially detrimental actions, it does provide a unique window into a different world. There are levels to this.
Unfortunately there are white parents who adopts children of color and still remain racist. I can attest to this. I’m black and was adopted at birth by a white mother who frequently uses the n-word around me, tells me I’m “not like other blacks”, except when I behave in a way that she does not like, then I AM acting like a nigger. She also never made an effort to manage my hair appropriately and started putting chemical relaxers on it when I was a toddler so it wouldn’t be so “kinky”. So it does happen, just like someone dating outside of their race doesn’t meant they’re not racist.
Before white people adopt interracially they should have to take a sensitivity course and be willing to accept that their child will have differences that they cannot relate to because of their race.
I don’t think you’re understanding the author at all. People are so sensitive these days, she’s not trying to victimize your family (or mine either considering both of my siblings were adopted). What the author is implying is that having a black spouse or black child does not make one able to speak out for all black people or protect one from being racist. That’s it. She’s not attacking you.
Definition of racism: the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.
Racism is a mindset, not a course of actions. Not all racism is accompanied by malicious behavior. One can be a racist but perform good deeds for the people against whom they hold those racist views. That is called the “white savior complex.” Colonialism provided Africans with increased educational opportunities and medical care that helped some Africans…but colonialism was obviously founded on racism.
If you want to argue that Tuohy is not a racist, be my guest. I won’t pretend that I know. But what she did for MIchael Oher is not proof that she is not.
Your parents lost a child who already had a family of his own. Period.
‘So your flippant attitude toward taking somebody into one’s home, making them a part of your family, showing them unconditional love, and giving them a new lease on life is really insulting to me and my family’ Well done. You just made something that has nothing to do with you ENTIRELY about you.
The author of this segment is a complete fucking idiot!
so are you
Yes, and you are unconsciously biased no doubt…. Lol
Or your just a complete idiot.
I have read both the original post and a number of the “you are evil White People” posts around the internet.. a Couple of thoughts.
1) I’m a Mom of kids in their 20’s.but Groups of teenagers still “scare” me.. mostly because my feelings are easily hurt.. and we all have our high school selves that are afraid of what groups of emboldened teens would do or say. No matter the color. 2)Leigh Anne is now a public figure.. I think she was trying to prove a point by posting the picture. but I think the impact might have been better had she done the blog.. but not posted a picture.. but come’on ~ EVERYONES LIFE IS DOCUDRAMA-ed IN PICTURES on the internet now. Her intentions were good. and yes.. all Moms are a bit nosy.
3) WHAT WOULD HAPPENED IF EVERYONE ALWAYS MINDED THEIR OWN BUSINESS.
Always take care of yourself. Other people are not your business. Don’t get involved. hmmm.
4) a Latino girl in front of me at Goodwill was buying a ton of t-shirts that had college insignia’s on them. When Nosy Mom ( me ) asked her why the plethora of university T’s . she said she was buying them with her own money for her class. they didn’t have T-Shirts for “College Day” . I handed her $$ to pay for them. Does That Make me a Racist ? I sorta figured it was a school in a poorer area. DOES THAT MAKE ME A RACIST???
She wanted my info so the kids could write me a thank you note. I said no, have them do a random act of inspiration themselves.. A thank you note was not the point for me.
Not the same, not even close. Typical response
Respectfully, Yes “Nosy Mom” that does make your assumptions racist. The fact that you “sorta figured it was a school in a poorer area.” is an issue. It is these assumptions and profiling that lead to larger issues. Follow my logic for a moment, if you owned a store and had the thought process that this hispanic girl is from a poorer area, would you then pay more attention to her to make sure she didn’t steal?
It is always nice to have a person pay for your things in line, no matter who they are but if you did it because you thought she was poor and wanted to ease her suffering that is the flaw.
We all want to live in a better equal world but we must recognize that we are both the problem and the solution.
-Alison
http://www.checkmyprivilege.com/
it was , because you assumed the school was in a “poorer” part of town? why couldn’t she just want to do a good deed? and because you felt bad about being nosey and the fact that you assume she was underprivilaged, caused you to donate. everyone really need to mind their business sometimes, in this instance i could not.
Bixby to understand the race construct, you need to put in a little more time than reading one blog and inserting your two cents. There is so much history, social science, a ton of authors, essays and journals for probably over 100 years or more on the subject. I love how some white people think that it is just this casual, nonchalant discussion, like discussing what type of salad dressing for dinner tonight. So, I will not use the term racist since that is a trigger for you but will say that you should read more of the history of race in america and how wealth and policy were shaped by it. Then get back to me in a decade. Lol : )
You struck up a conversation with a stranger and helped them. That’s not the same thing as demanding access to their personal information to allay someone else’s suspicions about them.
Reblogged this on Pastoral Reveries.
I just that feel that she genuinely was doing something from the kindness of her heart. the comment about.. “would she had done it if the kids were white”. I believe she would have but the kids weren’t white so why make a mountain out of a mole. Kudos to you Mrs. Tuophy, continue doing you and let the hater throw salt because it’s seasonally appropriate.
Would she have felt so proud of herself if the kids were white and she pushed her way into their space? Would she have had her picture taken with them with the caption “Don’t judge a book by its cover!”? No, of course not. The situation wouldn’t have warranted any back-patting, because people don’t automatically assume that two random white teenagers are up to something underhanded. So no, it wasn’t from the kindness of her heart, it was her attempt at publicity by treating two black teenagers the way that we treat newly-released felons.
Her friend actually might not have perceived two white kids sitting together in a restaurant as being “up to no good” and then the entire interaction might not have happened. The fact she felt she had to prove to her friend that they weren’t actually doing anything bad says a lot about our society. I’m uncomfortable labeling others I’ve never met as racist without really clear evidence, and I think it is just as likely that she had good intentions, so I’m going to steer clear of that. But if you reread her post from the kids’ perspective this time, you might see why so many people are upset about the interaction.
@Caroline. Precisely. I don’t believe this woman is a racist but she DID expose those children to her friend’s racism, and that was careless and wrong. It doesn’t mean she’s a bad person, but her actions did not deserve congratulations.
The worst thing she did was blog about it. There are some non-racist (or at least less racist) ways to view the rest of it. It *could* well be she is actually in the habit of sitting down next to her customers no matter what race and butting into their conversations. It could well be also that teenagers of every shape and color who come into her shop and stick their heads together are suspect of being up to no good, which is teen profiling rather than race profiling. As for riding on the “judging a book by its cover” remark, FIRST she said “We have to STOP judging people and assuming and pigeon holing people!” which is dead on, and only afterwards followed up with the book cover cliche, which she QUALIFIED with “or however you’d like to express the sentiment” which suggests she absolutely did NOT mean to imply that black skin should suggest any negative sentiment, only that she was grasping for well worn adages and that was the imperfect one that she snagged upon.
Reblogged this on recycle this page.
i think you are wrong…….
maybe even part of the problem.
I respect the hate here, as she oozes with that “delusional, uppity, lots of cash” mentality. Put this woman in a financial bind and her true colors would show. Either way, pitting yourself as the META anti-racist, “These other anti-racists are phonies! I’m superior and support blacks the most!”. This would only apply if using the same logic present in the article. My point is Ignore what other people do and be kind to everyone.
Agree with pretty much everything you said here. One minor quibble: the boys weren’t in public if they were in this woman’s store. Not saying this gives her the right to confront them the way she did (it doesn’t), but I think we have to be clear in stories like this when discussing public/private, if only so all the facts are straight. Minor detail, like I said, but I think it’s an important one.
If it had been my store, I would have ignored the ‘up to no good’ comment, and left the guys alone. You don’t need to confront anyone unless they are causing problems in your store.
Last I checked stores are all public and all owned by a person, your a moron and an imbecile
Public is correct:
“Privately-owned businesses and facilities that offer certain goods or services to the public — including food, lodging, gasoline, and entertainment — are considered public accommodations for purposes of federal and state anti-discrimination laws.”
Source: http://civilrights.findlaw.com/enforcing-your-civil-rights/discrimination-in-public-accommodations.html
your an idiot shes doing a good thing if she never wennt over to them they woulda been shit outta luck for their basketball game. just stop ur too blind to see it
She coulda done the same thing to two white people its called helping them out, were not in the past stop thinking everyone is and get over yourselves, were in modern times now
First of all, your name is Billy Bob. So I’m guessing your cultural understanding doesn’t extend too far beyond whatever backwater shithole you grew up in.
Could you possibly, even for one second, imagine what it must be like to be black in America? To live in a culture that, for the greater part of its existence, insisted that your life was unimportant and unworthy of basic human rights and decency? It’s very easy for you to say “were in modern times” (it’s “we’re” you fucking idiot) when you have literally never had to experience the frightening, dehumanizing, and denigrated existence that so many others have.
This is not about some nice lady doing a nice thing. This is about a white person thinking they have the right to treat and interact with black people in any way they see fit. She can do whatever she wants to them because she is white, and they have to remain polite and compliant because they are black.
This whole act, even if well-intentioned, would have been reprehensible in itself. But then the fact that she uses it as a platform for her own self-congratulating reward is just despicable. People who commit just and good acts do not feel the need to share their heroism with the world — the act is (or should be) rewarding in itself.
See, this is why the internet sucks — because it gives ignorant people like you a voice.
Your clearly the one takin it negativley she tried to help them out just cuz she white its a racist thing thunk bout what ur saying. People like you are part of the reason why this world is how it is you take evrry good thing people do and nit pick it till its a horrible thing. You think this lady had the intentions of being racist probably not she wanted to help out a few kids and prove her friend wrong i woulda done the same thing… and whrre the fuck does my name have anything to do this ur just saying things to make pple angry obvi “billybob” isnt my real name its cuz of pple like you why i dnt put my real name. You really need to grow up and take into consideration that not all people think there better then other races like i said before were modern times now. Sure theyll be that one douche bag every so often but deal with it do u honesly think this lady is that douche bag? Shes clearly not your the one being racsit here. Get over yourslef. (: thanx
And lastly whos gives a flying fuck bout grammer. What r u the grammer police ? Its called i type how a text short form dumbass saves time and effort
Reblogged this on onracism and commented:
I haven’t had time to write a new post in a while (new job, new city, etc.), so here’s a cool post by another blogger.
good lord. I think we need to stop looking for racism; there’s enough out there to find without looking for it. I see it on an almost daily basis, and this isn’t it. Maybe this woman did what she did to illustrate to her friend, in a very vivid way, that making assumptions about people is actually fairly stupid.
I hear what you’re saying Derek, but I disagree that this is not racism. She used those two boys as props, twice. Once to make a point to her friend, and again to make herself look good. Neither of those was necessary or appropriate.
You can get so caught up in being not-racist that you forget to engage (or respectfully choose not to engage!) people as PEOPLE. That’s also racism, and it’s about the nicest interpretation of Tuohy’s actions that I can come up with.
So what you are saying is, “It’s not racist to to help people of a different skin color. It’s racist to help people of a different skin color and then tell others about it.”
Excellent, whenever I do my volunteer work, I’ll make sure I keep it to myself. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was doing something good because I am racist.
Chyenne, that’s not at all what I said. I said she used them as props, twice. Once to settle a point with her friend, and once to make herself look good on Facebook.
I’ve given small amounts of money to needy people many times in my life. Have I ever taken a selfie afterward and made a “sunday sermon” post about it? HELL NO. That’s just gross.
Reblogged this on inglorious Resurrection and commented:
Telling..
Well said!!!
Very compelling read… The irony of her attemtpting to do “the right thing”… Motivated by all the wrong reasons.. Fear and entitlement prompted thr initial action followed by a heavy dosage of white guilt to finish it off…
This is fairly indicative of the relations between the young and the old mixed with those of color and those without… Two class structures clashing and providing an akward scenario… And as per popular culture the more dominant of the two caste comes out unscathed..
Reblogged this on ezwaters and commented:
You have to read the whole post to see a very good analysis of what on its faced looked like a good deed.
You’ve got a very good point. If I were those kids, I’d wonder the same thing. And then I’d probably never go to that place again.
Here’s a question: if it is wrong to judge these boys’ intent based on the color of their skin, isn’t it wrong for you to do the same thing regarding the “White Saviour Complex?”
simple answer to an overly simplistic and under-rationalized dismissal of a thorough and well thought out explanation: No, it’s not.
oh look, the usual reverse racism argument dressed up in different clothes. The boys were minding their business, doing what most of us would consider normal, sitting in a cafe. This entirely unremarkable behaviour was interpreted in an entirely negative way that was purely based on their skin colour. What were they supposed to do? Provide a big sign saying we are not up to no good? She proactively inserted herself into the situation, propelled by what exactly? Would a Black woman have done the same thing? No probably not, she would have told the ignorant white woman that she was being racist and to stop making assumptions. Her behaviour had everything to do with her skin colour, another example of white privilege, whereas the boys behaviour was nothing whatsoever to do with their skin colour but was judged to be so.
No, T Kyle, no it isn’t. The people calling Tuohy out on her “white savior complex” are doing so based on the facts of the event, as reported by Tuohy herself. See the difference? Not only do we know what she did, but we also know exactly what she thought and felt about it. It’s nothing at all like the stupid assumption her “friend” made about the two black boys “up to no good”.
Were you so anxious to point your finger and triumphantly call “hypocrite!” that you couldn’t see that for yourself? Based on your demonstrated ability to spell and punctuate, I would think you’re better than that. But then I guess I shouldn’t judge on appearances…
Thank you for this very well thought out post 🙂
I volunteer with a U.S.-based humanitarian organization recognized by the U.N. and this organization has been twice nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Our help is sought after by other humanitarians in over forty countries around the world, as they work for the betterment of those in need of medical care and sustainable life-enhancing projects. A friend of mine once observed that we must be racists, since people in the countries we serve are in need of something they don’t have and we can help them. Does that make sense? Should all of us stop our efforts to assist others because we aren’t of their color, ethnicity, national origin, etc.? Should any humanitarian organization receive any recognition for what it does because that would be self-serving, and therefore wrong?
The author of this piece could not be further from thr truth. If the two young men were interviewed by the blogger and made all these accusations of Ms Tuohy or had written the piece themselves, perhaps I could give it more credence. As it stands, I call this article race-baiting at its worse.
Agreed on all points.
And to add another, the whole “Blind Side” movie is Hollywood garbage whipped up to shine a Jesus-y spotlight on white savior Leigh Ann Tuohy while simultaneously denigrating and infantalizing Mike Oher.
In fact, Oher was so appalled at the twisting of truth in the final product, he wrote his own autobiographical account of the story, “I Beat the Odds: From Homelessness, to The Blind Side, and Beyond,” to set the record straight. I guess Sandra Bullock’s bulging pre-Kardasian ass in a tight white skirt is a better plot line (and ticket seller) than a skilled football player looking to better his life.
Tuohy is a narcisstic, bullying little peroxide bottle of an attention whore.
Yea shes a horrible person for tryin to make someones day better and providing someone wit shelter. You guys are soo ridiculously stupid if you can make something so heartwarming and kind into a bad thing seriously shame on you. You were clearly not raised how a person should be.
The whooshing sound of something going completely over someone’s head is the most boring sound in the world.
Whoever she was with deserved the flick on the nose for their statement. Did Leigh Anne have to go over and find out the boys business, not necessarily, but it’s not racist because she did. The only racist part about this post is what the friend said and quite a few of these comments.
Personally I appreciate the owner of the business conversing with their customers. It makes the business stand out in the sea of similar businesses. I recognize her business being a franchise, but still the service isn’t the same at every Taco Bell and every McDonald’s. The owner actually being there makes it that much more personal and enjoyable. When I worked at McDonald’s I never saw the person that owned the store I worked at, just the person they put in charge of looking over it.
Anyway what Leigh Anne did was not racist in the least bit. I’m still on the fence about her posting the picture though. I understand wanting to keep something to remember that moment, but not so much posting it.
I see someone with the white saviour complex, as someone who donated abunch of money to, say the kids in Africa, makes a bunch of statements about it, gets all the publicity, then comes home and turns into a stingy, greedy, selfish person. Someone who when their selfishness is brought up plays the ‘I helped the poor African children’ card, as if that somehow makes up for how vile they’re being at home. I don’t get this vibe from Leigh Anne.
I saw the movie, it was quite personal, but only good came out of those events. Michael Ohre isn’t on the streets, and is doing something he’s good at, and wanted to do, because someone, who was capable of helping, helped. This isn’t going to happen for everyone, but let’s just be grateful there are people who do these things for complete strangers. I want to be like her one day. Helping whoever I can, even if the only thing I can do is listen, give a smile, a loving word, and a hug.
Reblogged this on HauteMess Magazine.
I would like to hear the two boys take on this interaction. Touhy is a famous person due to the movie. It could be that the boys knew who she was and a little awestruck, not intimidated, when she sat next to them. They may have liked that someone was interested in their life and current dilemma, especially this woman, and therefore willingly shared their phone messages. Of course, I know I’m only offering conjecture, but just making the point that the boys’ perspective and own words were not noted in this blog. It could even have been the boys who wanted the picture with her. Who knows? That’s why I don’t trust bloggers that use a story for their agenda without seeing the possibility for another side to the story. She also probably made a lasting impact on her friend…in real life, not the blogosphere. Real life examples are going to make more meaningful change, even if it is one person at a time.
Thought provoking. Thank you for bringing this point up against clouded and misguided praise.
Im glad you read between the lines! And shared what you saw.
No idea if I can include a link, so I’ll try it in a seperate post and just suggest going to youtube and searching for ‘Tim Wise Colorblind Denial and White Privilege’ (and pretty much any Tim Wise video…)
Trying the link for Tim Wise video:
This is from the guy in the photo. If you check her instagram page, he’s been commenting: “Yeah like people don’t know what really happened because I actually had money I have a job and have had one for over a year I was gonna pay for my brother the other guy in the picture but he was insisting on waiting on his uncle but his phone was dying so we were charging it which is the reason we were in KFC in the first place and the game was only a 3 min walk up the street I don’t see why she said bus fare that kinda ticked me off a little but the way she worded it is making us seem less fortunate and that isn’t the case at all & when she came over to us she never mentioned her initial reason was because of her friends comment im just now finding that out.”
Where does it ever mention the first woman is white? All bullshit aside, coming from an Asian, blacks people are the most racist ethic group
I’ve ever encountered. Not to mention, EVERYTHING gets blown up when it involves them.
Reblogged this on noisyboynewsblog's.
Entitlement 101. Great article. I like how you broke it down.
No that was not a social justice act, even to show her friends. It was a narcissistic point she was trying to make of appearing liberal-minded. Why did she have to have a photo taken with 2 boys she didn’t know and they really wouldn’t want to figure out her in their lives?
Patronizing of her. Unless they were her neighbours or good friends, great.
How weird. Would I do that? No. What for? Those boys would have thought I was wierd lady. The boys just want to listen music and chat up among themselves. Just like all teenagers.
I think my half Chinese-white nieces and nephews (there are 4 of them), would have considered this just too weird of her.
So would she do the same…pose with her white female friend for a strange black man for same encounter? And for what purpose?
I really pray we all live to see the day black people live in peace. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to be black in America right now.. my heart goes out to all of you 💜
Reblogged this on Decycle My Life and commented:
Definitely word reading and sharing.
Reblogged this on Girl undressed .
Yea as soon as I read the part of her post where she said she sat down and asked “What’s happening at this table?” I felt so embarrassed for her. If I were those boys, if have been confused, scared, and well aware that I could not tell her to mind her own business for fear of the repercussions. She is clueless!
Not to mention I bet those kids did not give permission for their photo to be pasted all over social media. They left with smiles….? Yea…
thought provoking. i hadn’t seen the original post so don’t know how i would have reacted to it.
I guess she could have thrown them out, cause if they were scraping together $3. They were not buying anything in HER store. Just loitering or is that judging too. Just like you did.
You are so right. As a white mother of dual heritage children I and my kids wiuld have been incensed at her behaviour. They woyld have felt intimidated and challenged and i would have wanted to go shove her patronising self serving photo of my kids where the sun dont shine. The proper respinse would have been as you say to educate the other woman and leave the kids to get on with what they were doing as if they were any other colour. If you say “look at me being nice to ‘them'” you are pointing out that you and others think ‘they’ deserve ti be treated any other way than nice.