Leigh Anne “That Nice Woman Sandra Bullock Played In The Blind Side” Tuohy recently posted the following picture and caption on her Facebook and Instagram accounts:
“We see what we want! It’s the gospel truth! These two were literally huddled over in a corner table nose to nose and the person with me said “I bet they are up to no good” well you know me… I walked over, told them to scoot over. After 10 seconds of dead silence I said so whats happening at this table? I get nothing.. I then explained it was my store and they should spill it… They showed me their phones and they were texting friends trying to scrape up $3.00 each for the high school basketball game! Well they left with smiles, money for popcorn and bus fare. We have to STOP judging people and assuming and pigeon holing people! Don’t judge a book by its cover or however you’d like to express the sentiment! Accept others and stoping seeing what you want to see!!!”
The comments on both posts are full of people praising her – telling her how awesome she is, how open-minded, how kind. Reading these responses is completely baffling – like, did these people and I all read the same words?
Let’s break down what happened here:
1. Two teenagers were sitting alone and completely minding their own business.
2. A white woman decides that based on the fact that they are “huddled” in corner “nose to nose,” they must be “up to no good.” Because obviously whenever Black people (especially Black men) gather in public, it’s bad news for the rest of us!
3. Another white woman, one Leigh Anne “I Adopted A Black Boy So I Can’t Possibly Be Racist” Tuohy, decides that White Lady #1 is wrong. Which is actually the correct assumption for Ms. Tuohy to make, so I guess this is where some people are getting confused because we see that her intent is good, and that makes us want to believe that the action that follows will also be good. She’s at a crossroad here – two roads diverged, etc. Had she taken the road less travelled, Ms. Tuohy might have said to her friend, “Wow, you’re being really racist right now! I’m not comfortable with how this conversation is going.” Instead, she decided to confront the teenagers who, as a reminder, have done absolutely nothing wrong.
4. Leigh Anne Tuohy walks over to the two boys and sits there in silence. I’m sure that wasn’t scary for two Black teenagers at all, especially given recent events.
5. After what was certainly the most awkward ten seconds of those boys’ lives, Ms. Tuohy asks what’s “happening” at the table. Like, other than two teenagers sitting there talking like anyone sitting at a table might do? Some kids are hanging out and chatting. That is what’s happening.
Unsure of the correct answer to this question – other than “we are two friends sitting together and not causing any trouble,” which probably seemed too obvious for them to point out – the boys remain silent.
6. Leigh Anne tells them that this is her store and they need to “spill.” Again, these kids have done nothing except be in public and be Black.
7. After being interrogated by this woman, and probably afraid that at the very least she’s about the call the cops, the boys show her their phones. This part just breaks my brain, like, these two kids had to show this woman evidence that they are doing exactly what they seem to be doing: sitting at a table and having a conversation.
8. Apparently satisfied with the evidence the boys have presented her with, Leigh Anne Tuohy gives them bus fare and money for popcorn, but not before she has White Lady #1 take her picture with them.
9. Ms. Tuohy then posts this picture to social media and receives thousands of responses lauding her for being such a good person.
Leigh Anne Tuohy profiled two Black kids, invaded their privacy and interrogated them, but somehow people are behaving as if this is some kind of wonderful social justice moment. No. Not even a little. This is some fucked up racial profiling combined with white saviourism, and it is racist as hell. Assuming that those kids were doing something bad was racist. Assuming that she could take up space at their table was racist. Insisting that they talk to her was disrespectful and racist. Wanting evidence that they weren’t up to no good was racist. Treating those boys as props to make her look good and then posting this picture publicly (and honestly, I wonder if the boys consented to that) is incredibly racist.
Also, can we talk about how problematic using the phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover” is when it comes to talking about race? First of all, it begins with the assumption that the “cover” (or in this case, skin) tells you something unappealing about the contents of the book or person. It also implies that there is something unattractive or bad about the “cover” (or, again, skin). I can’t believe that I have to say this, but: there is nothing wrong or bad about Black skin. Black skin is not unpleasant or ugly, and to imply that dark skin might devalue someone is really, really fucked up.
Black people aren’t things. They don’t exist just so that white people can make a point about themselves. These are two real kids who not only had to endure this woman’s microaggressions but have now had their image splashed all over social media – the Facebook picture alone has 150,000 likes and over 12,000 shares. Step away for a hot second from this white woman’s narrative, and think about how those teenagers must feel – having their privacy invaded, having assumptions made about them based on their race, and now having a white woman use their images to get praise for herself.
Now tell me again about how Leigh Anne Tuohy did a good thing.
UPDATE:
One of the two teens involved has responded on Instagram (his name has been blurred out for privacy):
Person One aka Teen Leigh Anne Tuohy approached at KFC:
Yeah people don’t know what really happened because I actually had money I have a job and have had one for over a year I was gonna pay for my brother the other guy in the picture but he was insisting on waiting on his uncle but his phone was dying so we were charging it which is the reason we were in KFC in the first place.and the game was only a 3 min walk up the street I don’t see why she said bus fare that kinda ticked me off a little but the way she worded it is making us sound less fortunate and that isn’t the case at all & when she came over to us she never mentioned her initial reason was because of her friends comment im just now finding that out
Person Two:
May I ask how she asked for the photo?
Person One:
Yeah she never actually asked for it as she was handing us the money she was like “hey you know what I think this would be a great picture” and everyone with her was yeah totally so we just kinda went along with the situation like sure why not your Michael Oher’s mom but the whole time I was thinking you know why’d she come up to us in the first place I was still clueless up until she posted the picture on social media and stated “the person with me said I bet they’re up to no good.”
The Belle Jar 
This is the small white woman version of stop and frisk. Pathetic and backwards. These kids didn’t have to prove a thing to ANYONE. And then be treated as trophies in a lesson to all the other people who may or may not be thinking racist thoughts? Who made her our instructor? Who made her a black teen advocate? And then she’s going to reward them for being good little black boys? And then brag about her generosity? She needs to get over herself.
People are not props or pets.
I think your confused. I don’t think you understand what the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” means. It doesn’t mean that there is necessarily something negative on the outside. What if the outside of a book is all glitter and diamonds and the inside is empty? What if the outside is beautiful and the inside is ugly? What if a person portrays that they are strong but really they are weak? It doesn’t mean something is negative on the outside, just that what is on the surface doesn’t tell the entire story.
Your missing the point. She said don’t judge a book by its cover in pointing out the fact that these were by all means good kids. So she is implying that the cover would lead you to believe otherwise
You’re absolutely right. She missed that point completely. Smh.
How sad is this. Everyone screams racist over everything. She doesn’t look at them as “black”. They were two boys and the fact of the matter-they are in her store. HER STORE!! As the owner of a store, she has the right to ask people to leave or ask them what is going on. Especially if someone thinks they are loitering or whatever. But because she posted a picture of the boys-she’s a racist. What if it was two white boys or two Asian boys or two Mexican boys?? It’s the fact that it was two black boys that everyone screams about. Not the fact she has a mother complex…does that occur to anyone?? Oh she is this white woman. Yeah, sounds like you are more the racist than she is. She basically was direct instead of assuming they were up to no good. Yes and the woman that we saw played by Sandra Bullock was direct and a no bullshit sort of woman. So if she was played that way, more likely she is that way in real life. Even in the movie she had a motherly concern and not some “white saviour complex” that statement alone is racist as hell, but it’s okay right since she is white and the boys are black. I think this entire article was broken down because you are looking for something to point the finger and scream racist. Store owners have rights and instead of pointing the finger-she thought of it in a motherly terms. What if these boys were homeless and were loitering because they needed a place to stay for a few hours. Squatters are not welcomed in any business. Strip it down correctly. She took the direct approach and figured there must be something wrong. So many people turn a blind eye to others. She asked. She is blunt and to the point. She told them it was her place of business, so now they know why she is curious to them taking up a booth because store owners can force you to leave. There are signs usually posted about it. So instead of kicking them out, she sat down. And was direct. No beating around the bush. She has claimed to be a Christian woman and oh yes, Jesus would have done something extremely similar, so she is following his steps. So yes, they boys showed her their phones that they were trying to gather funds to go to a basketball game. How fucking racist is that right?? Two boys begging other people for money and a white woman gave it to them. Yeah, completely racist of this white woman to want to get to the bottom of something instead of either calling the cops or asking the boys to leave.
But oh my goodness, she is the racist. Yes, she posted her deed on the internet but oh my goodness that is a racist crime right?? Everyone is just looking at skin color. Not the fact she saw them as two boys huddled in a corner that could be homeless or starving and she wanted to help instead of assume. NO!! That is too kind of her. Instead lets paint her as an evil white woman!! That is so much easier!!
The only thing I have a problem with is people screaming about racist, but it’s okay for them to do such things. “white” people …”black” people…shit….if she didn’t post the picture….everyone would have assumed they was white and everyone would have awwed…but she will be a woman helping her own color. No matter what this woman does or doesn’t do is going to be a racist thing. It’s not the fact she is blunt, honest or whatever…and how do you know it wasn’t another “black” person that took the photo. It’s easy to label people. It’s easy to break shit down.
Please tell me when you own several business and help your fellow person and then post it on the internet because you are trying to make a statement….and more likely it was a jab at the person for her comments…about the boys being up to no good. She proved them wrong. She proved that these were good boys just struggling to go see a sports event. So in your racist breakdown get the facts straight and how about you REMOVE THE RACE OUT OF IT and look at it for what it is….REMOVING STEREOTYPES.
Do you think she would have taken a picture with the boys if it was two Asian teenagers, or two white teenagers?
*Mic Drop*
Exactly.
Nope
I agree with everything you said.
If she posted a photo of her helping two white kids, everyone would be screaming that white kids receive better treatment because they are white. I am so sick of the racist label being taken to extremes. Slanting this as badly as you did is hypocritical. White bashing is reverse racism, also by judging her intentions as self serving is a lame assumption and completely irrelevant and frankly, none of your business. Are you angry that two kids were helped? Jealous you didn’t get the glory? If only 1% of the population is wealthy, doesn’t that mean that 99% are NOT!! We are not black and white..we are all shades of brown. If you think her actions are racist, then you are part of the problem.
If she had taken two pictures with two white kids, that would just be creepy. CREEPY, with capital letters. The kids would never have let her do it.
white bashing O_O that term
Wow so many words to say so little.
Are your fingers tired
OMG just GAAAAAAAH!!
… she had NO RESPECT for them, used domineering tactics to ‘engage’ them – and here is this for blunt: would NOT spend money in ANY store where the owner thought they were entitled to behave like that.
Did you not watch the movie? The woman is straight forward, which a lot of people, myself included, do appreciate. She had her picture taken by her friend, don’t you think that could have been to push the lesson to her friend further? Yes if I want to make a special point, I will behave out of normal character to get the point across.
Thank you for taking time to write this. It is what the rest of the world thinks, those of us that don’t spend our time online all day spinning false narratives. As a society, we are generally fearful to get involved in the lives of teenagers. Mrs. Tuohy is not. With today’s broken family situation, many need guidance. Shame on those who say otherwise and seek to spread division. God bless.
Thank you Hallelujah for writing this, it’s has 100% of everything I wanted to say and more!!!! I’m starting to get simply frustrated and annoyed about all the “racism” articles and how every single one of them implies that ANYTHING a white person may do for or towards another person of a different race is racism. You’re racist if you kill another person and they happen to be of a different color, because let’s please ignore all of the actual motives or reasonings behind such an offenses! Any crime against another human being that doesn’t involve a white person is just that a crime, a white person involved racism!! Now let’s take this for example, the black community has been protesting and preaching how whites are always judging and destroying their agendas, what they stand for and blatent stereotyping. They want to be seen for who they actually are and not by what their skin color falsely stereotypes them to be, cause I do believe we should all be proud of our race, culture and ethnicity, not bounded or ashamed by them—they want to be treated equally —which is something every person wants so it’s understandable, but from what I read anymore they feel this is not the case! So here’s the deal if you want to advocate for change than you better be prepared and not complain when you see those who take a stance for what your preaching or just simply becomes a great example! So here A white woman becomes disappointed by what her friend assumes about the two boys sitting in the corner who happen to be black, so what does she do, she’s taking the high ground that’s not only being preached all over the media anymore but also she is following her faith, so she walks over and sits down to engage with the boys and what they are up to, and who says it was at all confrontational or intimadating( the writer of this article) and that they were even ” scared”!?That’s pretty judge mental right there and using story manipulation at it’s finest, which is why things are always so heatly debated. Do you really think they were afraid of a “white” woman and that because what’s going on in the media that they think every interracial interaction is a concern for themselves? .She actually senses in their silence that something is up, not assuming anything either.. if they were fine they would have said so, if they were on guard they would have become defensive but no it was silence. It doesn’t mean fear of her ultimately means something is on their mind they feel torn to say! She wasn’t making any conditions or an ultimatum if they didn’t tell her, she was simply asking them to tell her what’s up. She used her ownership of the store to give a reason as to why she was asking such a simple yet personal question… Some could say that’s intruding and some could see it was a nice cause for concernment. They ended up telling her what was up and showed her what it was they were in fact doing and why they were so quiet and why they were nose to nose with their phones. After realizing what was up, I truly feel that she was doing what she would hope someone else would do for one of her kids or another kid or another person- cause she could of walked away right then and made a point but instead helped them get to their school game. I believe her compassionate even maternal emotions took over and saw that here are possibly two good teenagers, who just wanted to go to their game instead of who knows what, kids that are out their getting into trouble or tempted to get such money from more destructive behaviors.. She simply wanted to help that’s it! Still looking at it from an outsiders view, I would think for one this would be a caring gesture that any parent would appreciate, second a gesture that a white, Mexican or black parent would appreciate to see happening and overall an example being demonstrated that the black community is preaching for. I believe she went into that approach simply seeing two boys there after she sat down, not focused on color or even proving a friend wrong, and what happened after was by chance. She helped them out because she believes that’s what we should do for others especially for a good cause and second I believe the only “lesson” she really made here wasn’t to prove “black kids” aren’t always equal for potential trouble but instead a lesson for her friend who saw color and/or teenagers that “looked” up to no good and made a stereotypical or rash assumption about them! “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” she said, she could of said don’t judge a person by the color of their skin, but instead I think she said what she did to point out a bigger lesson, beyond just race and that is: we should realize that just because something may appear to be one thing on the outside may actually be hiding a rather beautiful or surprisingly different story on the inside! Be slow to judge and learn to love one another! She took the high ground and did a wonderful deed and showed a valuable lesson!!! She did everything people are preaching about but still racism is thrown out! You shoot a man your racist, you help two teen boys out and end up putting your white friend back in place, youre racist, you leave the entire community alone all together which seems to be what they are almost asking by a story like this, and you’re racist and segregating! I’ve realized now more than ever that no matter what, racism will never be stopped regardless of the action. Give a million dollars = sympathy charity money… be friends = questioned agenda? Who knows! All I know is At this point I believe the racial card is being thrown around way to heavily and so out of context. Even our ancestors would be disappointed!! It seems honestly that racism in the minds of certain individuals has really created a double standard for just about everything and those are the people that are making it worse and why things are becoming more intense than they need to be! Should TRUE racism be pointed out, sure why not, but by creating racism where there isn’t any is only increasing a void and divide that we can’t blame anyone else but ourselves for!
I found this story to be creepy. I bet she didn’t ask their parents for perission to take their picture or post it on social media either. I also bet she doesn’t bust into the conversations of every teen who comes into her store. No. Just no.
What about this scenario would make anyone thing two teen boys with phones were homeless? What about them says something was “wrong”?
This has GOT to be the creepiest thing I’ve ever read. Like, how are people seeing this as good at all? That’s like being at McDonalds and the CEO coming up to you in the store and telling you HEY, this is my store, whatcha doing? Like, that’s SO. WEIRD! Like, this is the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever read, it’s racist, possibly ageist, too. Like, you can’t even muthafuckin sit in a store and text anymore? Like she had to DEMONSTRATE that this other woman was a racist? Suddenly my life becomes some weird social experiment, like this is WEIRD… this is like Eve Ensler looking at rape wounds and praising herself for how enlightened she got weird, like what?! You can’t be good people without HARASSING someone else? Like, white people y’all need to get it together and do better, for real.
Yep
I believe the first WOMAN said these TWO are up to no good.. Inherently describing the ” white lady” or the ” black teenagers” makes the author just as guiltily of labeling as she wishes the interpretation of kindness to be. Just what if she butted in to help a HUMAN BEING.. What if female number 1 just thinks today’s youth is lost and always up to no good?! Isn’t that what we are all supposed to be doing here.. Being human? Doing good deeds? Helping others ? Does everyone in need ask for help? … We were not there and to be outraged because a woman butted in to help some boys is not a problem .. The boys ultimately needed some help or direction and possibly it was her ” motherly” instincts that kicked in or seeing the good on people refusing to believe the CHILDREN were conspiring about anything. And let’s just say if my son were in need of something and the generosity of another helped him for that day I would be grateful.
Don’t label anyone PERIOD. My own son says he is bi-racial and I tell him NO YOU ARE NOT, YOU ARE A CHILD.. I WOULD’T ALLOW ANYONE TO LABEL YOU AND DON’T YOU DO IT FOR THEM! I tell him to be proud of ALL his family heritage, neither defines him, his character does that for him.
Pretending color doesn’t exist is actually very detrimental in a society where color is systematically intertwined with our institutions and beliefs. The first step of fixing the problem is acknowledging there is one. Labeling isn’t an issue – there shouldn’t be a problem with being called black, white, asian. These things are just part of who we are – just like being called male or female. The problem stems when we think that there is something wrong with being called black so we pretend it doesn’t exist? How can he be proud of his heritage if you won’t let him acknowledge what his heritage is.
Well said. But how about 2/3rd of the people commenting won’t even get a portion of what you’ve said.
I completely agree with you Tessa!
Why does everyone give ignorant white people the benefit of the doubt??? “Yeah, maybe they had this obscure thought process not related to skin color?”
Occams razor. If you had any kind of experience or presence with black people, had black friends you KNOW they get interrograted and harassed all the time just for existing in a public area. They get followed in stores, stopped by police because their car is too nice, or the neighborhood theyre driving in looks too nice for them, interrogated if their child is mixed/not black looking
This happened to my friends mom all the time, daddy was white so half the kids came out looking not mixed, but totally white! her mom would get questioned all the time, people would literally skip “white dad” idea and jump straight to the conclusion that she STOLE someones BABY!
Uhh yeah if you live in a bubble of ignorance and either dont choose to have black friends or black people are not common in your area/community, and are therefore not aware of how otherly they are treated, i can see why youre oblivious to all these subtle and racist social cues. but to be aware of it and rationalize it as something less uncomfortable (for you) like “judging teenagers” is ludicrous and hilarious please stop talking out of your ass and start listening to people who actual experience this.
Reblogged this on Collectables.
Uh, hello. Sure her intentions are good. But I don’t get what’s weird about ANY teenagers “huddled” at a table! That’s what I see everywhere, in every color. All glued to their smart phones or I phones. How suspicious, huh? Planning a major crime I see. Yeah, I see all the colors of humanity and embrace them. And these look like two perfectly normal kids! Except they look very uncomfortable. What state are they in again? Somewhere in the South or Midwest I’m guessing. We have a new one folks, HWB! Course it’s ok to huddle while Black if you’re on the football field, right? And yeah I’m white. Just so you know some white folks DO get it. Far too few.
Agree emkatster!
I just had a few questions about your reply to the instagram post. First, did she mention that her friend who said that the boys who were “up to no good” was white? Or even that the “person” with her was a woman? Or was that assumed by the writer of this article? Secondly, if I saw two teenage boys bent “nose to nose” constantly checking their phones, I might wonder, “what’s up?” regardless of race. Did she sense their distress in not having the funds to attend the game? This woman might be the type to get in the middle of other peoples business strictly because that’s who she is. If she observed two grandmothers looking concerned sitting in her store she would undoubtedly do the same thing she did here.
The only thing that I can see that she did wrong here is that she, in my opinion, seems to by exploiting the incident for her own glory. There was good done and possibly friends made because someone stepped outside of their own “self” and entered, with an open mind and a willingness to help, someone else’s world for a minute.
Please stop dividing us with articles likes this that pick apart every single interaction between races. #stopthedivision
Why, in your opinion, is it okay for you to make the host of assumptions you have made but wrong for another to make assumptions. Is it because they don’t line up with the assumptions you have made? If making assumptions is wrong it is wrong. Condemning the assumptions of another through arguments that are themselves predicated on assumptions you yourself have made is not just manipulative, it also has no ethical merit.
Condemning others for making assumptions through arguments predicated entirely on assumptions is beyond manipulative. If it not okay for someone else to make assumptions then, no surprises here, it is also not okay for YOU to make assumptions. Here are some facts that do not have assumptions behind them. Prompted by a negative comment made by a person of unknown gender and race about the character of two minors, an adult invaded a private conversation and invaded the personal space of two minors by sitting next to them without saying so much as hello to them first. This adult went on to give the minors money and have them pose for a picture with them. If you are a parent yet can not see how this was not okay then set aside your biases, switch the known genders and race of everyone involved. Would your reaction be the same if a black adult male had invaded the conversation and personal space of two Caucasian females of the same age whom another person found to be behaving in a suspicious manner and given them money before having them pose for a picture with them? Because if not you are hardly as open and unbiased as you might pretend to be.
Thank you osgakogi!! You reading this one “stop being a racist pig???? ” You might learn something, and maybe just maybe get out of that bubble you’re in.
Clapping. You are absolutely correct.
This is high on speculation and idiocy.
When I read that article, my thoughts mirrored yours precisely. THANK YOU!!
When I read that article my thoughts mirrored yours precisely, THANK YOU!!
Unlike the author or any of the people who commented, I actually know Leigh Anne Tuohy. And it would not have mattered if the kids were black, white or Asian, she would have done the same thing. That’s just Leigh Anne. She is very upfront and a little nosy – she would admit to it. While others may see it as something racist, I can assure you that she did not. If anything she saw it as an opportunity to tell people that it doesn’t matter what the skin color is of a person. If you sense there is a problem, you should help. That’s who she is. She’s the ultimate “mama bear.” And it doesn’t matter if you are her kid or not.
I don’t know her and that’s the impression I got from her post as well.
I’m glad you shared that Libby. I don’t know her other than as portrayed in the movie but got the impression that like many youth workers I have known she was inclined insinuate herself in a maybe overbearing but ultimately well intention ed and supportive way. The authors points are good ones for someone like that to think about perhaps and recognize that in our society things can be very loaded. But having considered that she then needs to decide is that concern better addressed by her changing her approach or trusting that they are intelligent people who can deal with complexity and the fact that White people may be racist without wanting to be but nice to have white people who are working hard to make things better. Plus I know that black people and white people have those moms that just mother up everyone – its irksome but makes you feel cared for at the same time.
Reblogged this on Somewhere in the Middle of Everything and commented:
How to white people: Invade a child’s space against their will, interrogate them and invade their privacy, pose for pictures with them, pay them off, call yourself a hero for it.
These comments just prove that “white people” aren’t the only racists in our world……….
I agree. Its sad that humanity has come down to bickering about skin color. This whole article seems to be racially motivated. Smh
who implied that white people are the only racists? only white people feel the need to argue for false justification that #notallwhites are racist. i’m a white person and i agree with everything that pynomrah said. why does this white person feel the need to receive a pat on the back via social media for doing something nice (after disturbing the kids’ privacy) for someone despite their color?
in the name of equality, were the young men ever asked about their personal experience of the whole thing or was this based solely on the author’s stereo types and prejudice?
Please post an example of a white person acting appropriately.
You sound incredibly ignorant.
Alright realities of trolling aside and that responding to you is likely not a good use of my time, I just have to comment and ask if perhaps you’re not yet familiar with the KKK? Or maybe you need to read an American history book. Your request should be sufficed by chapters on slavery and Jim Crow. For more ongoing/recent events, see white privilege and issues such as mass incarceration.
Being a black male of 30 yrs of age, I really failed to see the racist aspect. In todays world of politically correctness and generally everybody being in everybody elses business. If anything she is guilty of being nosey, and a case can be made if it has to, she couldve just minded her own business. Which ever you believe of her intentions, it would be hard for me to peg her as a racist, when in todays world you can be labeled a child abuser for whooping your kids, labels nowadays are thrown around with little regard to the person being accused. This was a genuine act of kindness to me, but she didnt have to approach them and she didnt have promote it. But some ppls character’s calls for them to act, and in some caes overstep.
Yes.
Thank you.
YEAH BUT… look, I am a middle-aged, nosy, blunt mum who happily mixes in to shit that is none of my business.
I suspect I come across as tiresome, foolish, and a bit of a dick.
But what I DO try to make sure happens is that when I mix in, I do it with respect and consideration for my “target’s” rights. Sure, I am awkward. Sure, I impose gratuitous charity on people.
But at least I am aware that I may be just feeding my own ego, and attempt to allow those I interact with as much dignity as I can.
I am ashamed by all of these comments, and the tenor of the article in general. Everything has to be about race and white privilege these days it seems. Everything. Ms. Tuohy was with someone who said they thought the kids were up to no good, but instead of agreeing with the lady, she went over to see what the kids were up to. Assuming she did it simply because they were Black is racist in and of itself. Get over yourselves. Thats an assumption. Ive seen grown ups do the same exact thing many times, smiling and bubbly: “Hey kids, what are you two up to over here?” Ms. Tuohy did what she did, approach these young men to make a point, that assuming they were up to no good wasnt the right thing to do. She made an example out of her friend and proved to her that she was wrong. These kids were just trying to figure out how to get to the game etc. And you know, Ms. Tuohy made their day by helping them out! Oh the horror, the blonde white woman helping the young Black men. How racist! She shoulda just left them alone and not even gone to see what they were up to. Such a racist, bad woman who thinks she is full of white privilege and has to seek pats on the back for it. You people make me shake my head. Always looking for how to make anything positive into a race issue. This, my friends, is not what youre looking for. Police shooting unarmed Black men is. A adult going over to two kids and seeing what they are up to, and then helping them, is a poor poor situation for you to try and exploit for your racist agenda. The fact that you even saw this tweet/post and thought it was racist is part of the problem. Ms. Tuohy even says it herself, people need to not judge (her friend who said they looked like they were up to no good.) Her posting the picture, with them looking completely happy and willing, is not wrong or bad. Been on facebook lately? See what everyone else posts all day? Really? And you want to jump down her throat for doing something nice? If these two kids were white, (and dont even try to tell me that that would never happen) none of you would be saying a thing! Its only because you are offended that a white woman would dare approach two Black kids.
After reading her post my assumption was that she did it to prove a point. She wanted to show that not all black, male teenagers are up to no good. I would bet they didn’t mind and took the picture because they appreciated her kindness. If they walked away happy, why is it up to others to turn the situation into something it’s not?
“Don’t judge a book by its cover” refers to profiling…just because they are huddled in a corner doesn’t mean they are doing bad things. Nothing more, nothing less. It goes back to the “we see what we want to” comment. You want to racism, you’ll find it.
It’s articles such as these that cause the drama. It turns nice acts into threatening ones. She does nothing, she racist. She helps them, she’s racist. Had the boys been white would the confrontation have been racist? Doubt it. It would have been a nice woman helping them out.
Lets take color out of this for a moment. Would you, as a parent, want an adult approaching your teenager who is not doing anything and questioning them? Would you then want that adult to give them money? And as if they were sport take a picture of them and post in online. All wrong. What ever she was trying to prove she was wrong. Those kids who were minding their own business and not being disruptive should have been left to do so. What if that was a child predator and your daughter?
You can not even compare this to a child predator. That is just idiotic. She was obviously not acting to harm them and she was justly acting. She wanted to make sure that everything was ok in her store. If it was my kids and she gave them a few dollars then thank you, that is so kind, random sure but kind none the less. Maybe we need to stop being so sensitive about everything. Yes this lady went up to them and asked them what they were doing, thats just how she is, im sure that she has done this many times before but this time she was trying to prove a point to her friend, is that wrong, have you never done something to try to prove a point? Im sure we all have. It doesnt make us wrong it makes us HUMAN.
Dude, your paranoia is showing. The world is not nearly as dangerous a place as you think. Have you ever heard the expression ” it takes a village to raise a child”? Would you be alright with it if a nearby adult intervened to stop your toddler from running out into traffic? We should all stop being so afraid of one another. No, I would not mind if an adult approached my child or teen and asked them if something was wrong or told them to pipe down in the movie theater. In fact, I would prefer it this way. I’m reminded of a time recently when my Dad stopped to help a teenage girl on the side of the road. Turns out, she was out of gas and in tears because she didn’t have any money to buy more. So, he drove to the gas station, filled up the spare can, then followed her to the filling station and bought her a full tank of gas. Does that make him a creep or a caring and responsible person? I’m pretty sure the girl was appreciative of his kindness. Now granted, he didn’t post pictures of it on Facebook, but If these teens didn’t want their pictures taken they are more than capable of saying so. It doesn’t look like they minded much, considering they are probably all over social media themselves. This is the world we live in. I will concede to the author here on one point…touting your good deeds to the whole world is generally considered poor form.
According to the article she never asked them to take the photo (rather she assumed and went ahead) AND she didn’t ask if anything was wrong, she told them to “spill it”. She obviously approached with a bias. She made them feel that they had to prove that they had done nothing wrong.
If a sports coach noticed your child’s talents and encouraged your child to try out for the team, how would you feel about that? What if the coach was a child predator?
Is that really your thought process?
Absolutely Cee….
I wonder how Michael Ore would feel about this. Someone needs to get their perspective in order.
Firstly, where does it say the first woman is white, massive assumption to start with.
Secondly, the issue is likely to be with the fact that two teenagers (at an age renowned for getting into trouble) in hoodies wearing a chain an earphones (dress that doesn’t generate connotations of people being open) were huddled in a corner really close together (a pose, which unless adopted by a couple, appears suspicious).
So how can non-black people help black/defeat racial prejudice in a way in which no one gets offended?
I am black and I honestly feel that this lady seemed to have good intentions. It was invasive for her to put the picture on the internet though. Yes, the friend was wrong for making an assumption, but the other woman proved her and now people are finding fault with what she did.
Do you feel that every non-black ally is acting out of the idea of the “white man’s burden?”
The first sentence should read: So how can a non-black person help black people defeat racial prejudice in a way in which no one gets offended?
She could’ve started by turning to her friend in the first place and asking why they looked up to no good. She could’ve posted THAT interaction on fb, twitter, etc. Maybe not instagram because there’s no photo op for that. *IF* she felt the need to intervene with the boys, she could start by introducing herself, standing next to the table, rather than just sidling in. She could also put in there that she knows they don’t need to prove they’re up to no good but that she likes being involved, nosey, whatever she knows she’s being (or at least to be aware of the fact that that’s what she’s being). She’s assuming that they’re not and trying to prove it to her friend but if she needs to actually make contact with the boys to force them to prove it, she’s not much better than her friend.
I think the writer of this blog could glean some wisdom from the comments posted. We ALL need to stop making the innocent into the enemy.
Here’s the thing about microaggresions, they rarely come from and overtlt racist place and the perpetrator often doesn’t realize how offensive they are. But good intentions don’t erase offensive outcomes. Those kids didn’t owe Mrs. Touey or her racist friend one second of their time and they certainly didn’t have any obligation to prove that they were up to no good. Even if they were white, her actions were ridiculously patronizing. But the fact that she paraded them to the world of proof of how un-racist she is was a real self serving move. Kept to herself, the incident could be chalked up to a slightly awkward good deed on her part. But as a humblebrag Facebook post, she totally just reduced those kids to props.
For the record, i don’t think she is a racist. But we’re all apt to be unintentionally insensitive at times when it comes to race and she’s guilty of that on this instance.
Yep
Exactly. That’s what I wanted to reply to the person who said she knew her and knew she wasn’t racist – but I couldn’t have phrased it so well.
I actually think the writer is looking for a negative where there need not be. You’re assuming that asking them what they were doing was an interrogation. As a parent, my first interpretation of her narrative was her attempting to get these kids to open up to her. Were they minding their business? Yes. Could she have left them alone? Yes. But you know what is a bigger benefit to her, rather then simply telling her friend she’s being racist? Showing her that there was nothing to be afraid of. You know what breaks down racial tension? Talking. It builds trust. After basically forcing them to conversate with her, they now have a little trust in her, and she has a little trust in them. She wasn’t being a “White Savior”, she was attempting to be their “Friend”. And trust between people is the biggest relief of racial tension there is. But all the writer wants to do is nitpick.
Honestly, I am so sick of racism. There is just as much racism from black to whites as there is whites to blacks. I am a nice person. I always say “please” and “thank you.” I always hold the door open for people. I have had the door slam in my face numerous times by some black people. Some rarely say “thank you” when I hold the door open for them. My cousin was brutally raped by a black man. That doesn’t mean that I think all black people are bad. They are not. We have neighbors that are black and could not love them anymore than I do. I don’t care what color person I live next to. As long as they are respectful and take care of their house, then it doesn’t matter. If you look like you are up to no good, then you better expect people to be suspicious and even ask you. We are all on the journey of life together so can’t we just all play nice and get along?
As a 35 year old BLACK woman, this ‘article’ is extremely RACIST. It is an opinion, not a fact, and a poorly judged opinion as well. The author, who seems so against racism, is blatantly racist against other races as well. Would this have bothered you so bad if an Asian woman had taken these actions? Would you have been so bothered if the boys were Hispanic or white themselves? Is there still racism today, yes. Does this event reflect racism, no. YOU ARE CREATING THE PROBLEM OF RACISM WHERE IT DOES NOT EXIST.
And this paragraph is the most revolting and ignorant thing written lately about racism, “Assuming that those kids were doing something bad was racist. Assuming that she could take up space at their table was racist. Insisting that they talk to her was disrespectful and racist. Wanting evidence that they weren’t up to no good was racist. Treating those boys as props to make her look good and then posting this picture publicly (and honestly, I wonder if the boys consented to that) is incredibly racist.” Not ONE of those actions reflect racism. I suggest you look inside yourself for change and somewhere besides social media for information. Find Prince Ea on Facebook, he might do your soul some good.
This demonstrates that some black people are just as racist if not more than others. WE WILL NEVER BE EQUALS IF WE CONTINUE TO TEAR EACH OTHER DOWN AND SEGREGATE OURSELVES FROM EACH OTHER ONCE AGAIN.
Stand up and be BLACK STRONG by not playing on either side of the racist table.
Good for you! What a strong, clear statement! Thank you!
Thank you Ma’am. I agree. I thought Ms Tuohy in my opinion was simply trying to show her white friend there was nothing going on and the kids were no threat. I think she did not mean anything except to show the white lady how foolish she was for making assumptions of others. That was her whole point. The author of this article is definitely trying to make it into something it was not meant to be.
I think by saying to the young men, “It’s my store spill it”, she was saying it is ok to talk to me.
Posting the picture was her way of trying to show people can be friendly no mater what walk of life they are.
Finding a way to twist it into something bad is what is terrible. I get why people feel it was racist to intrude on the boys, but that it not the intent here.
I want to hug you!!!!
Amen.
I really think you should read Bell Hooks
Tuohy’s ridiculous behavior aside (and having someone take a picture of it as she poses sorority girl style to prove her altruism. That woman is absolutely sick), can someone explain why these two were scraping together $6 but have gold chains, diamond earrings, beats headphones, nice clothes, etc? And I can assured you Leigh Anne, your money wasn’t used for popcorn.
1) You’re assuming that it’s actual gold, diamonds not cubic zirconia or even glass, etc. 2) You’re also assuming that those things weren’t gifts 3) You’re thirdly assuming that they are in the same financial position now as they were when they procured these items 4) You’re fourthly assuming that this wasn’t just a case of teenagers, who maybe have a job, maybe an allowance, whatever, not poorly mismanaging their money–because they’re teenagers. Maybe they bought those things with birthday money or money from a job, and didn’t have enough NOW to make the entertainment of the game happen. That’s pretty normal for a teenager.
I’ll tell you what I’m not assuming – I know the Tuohy’s and I know that Leigh Anne is sick and all she cares about is her public image and how she can come across as this perfect godly woman (whatever that means) when that’s the furthest from the truth. All she cares about is what people think of her. That’s what I’m commenting on. And yeah sure you bring up some talking points, but if all those things were true, if they’re receiving these exorbitant gifts (they have nicer things than I do as a 31 year old white man), then why can’t they come up with $6 to go to a basketball game when one of them has $300 headphones – the issue is it makes zero sense to have hundreds of dollars of “accessories” and be cash broke. It’s a common problem in our society.
I’m sorry, but when I was that age, MY PARENTS bought my clothing. Not me. Don’t judge them by their clothing, they are children. You are part of the problem, if you are judging them by their possessions.
Don’t be “black strong.” Just be STRONG — unified as a citizen of this county.
Well. Now I can scratch “Read something incredibly ignorant” off of today’s to-do list.
Reblogged this on meticulapedanta and commented:
Yep. The guy on her left looks like he may be having some complicated reactions to it all…
Bravo!
You have no idea what you’re talking about. How do you know she “interrogated them?” How do you know she MADE them show her what’s on their phone. What if they offered to show her…as every teenager wants to do…show off their phone? Who said the lady #1 was white? Who said she invaded their privacy? Who said they were afraid she’d call the cops? Who said they didn’t think this whole thing was awesome and were singing her praises all night to their friends that a stranger “paid it forward.” Oh, right. YOU DID. YOU ARE PROFILING. Not her. Get your head out of your ass and see the goodness in people. You’re spreading hate, which is a DISEASE, and you are the carrier. Maybe take a second to say thank you to those that may be TRYING to do some good in the world. She’s not perfect…are you??? Shame on your for judging people to get a like on your Facebook page.
Yes, the terrible crime of being black in public. What a sick society.
Maybe Leann was concerned about the boys and didn’t want them to leave her store if there was a problem. Maybe she thought that her Christian duty was to help these kids if they needed it. She took the picture to show others that you need to try and understand your fellow man’s condition and not judge. This is a woman who saw a boy walking in the cold and decided she couldn’t turn away like everyone else. Your assumptions about her motives are just that – assumptions. Would you stop for that kid in the cold Ms Belle Jar? You are stereotyping just as much as you claim others must be. Shame on you!
Love how you’re framing your opinion of a sick woman by a Hollywood movie. Having been there for the real story, I can assure you her motive was self serving.
How much attention do you think Leigh Anne Touhy needs? She has already had a major motion picture with an A list actress tell her story. Now, l don’t know Leigh Anne personally but I know one of her best friends, my nephew went to school and played sports with Michael Oher and I am a Southern white woman just a little bit older than she is. I feel a little more qualified to “judge” her actions. When you have grown up smelling the stench of racism, feeling the terror of the night Martin Luther King was murdered in your own city, hearing people scream at the National Guard when James Meredith enrolled at Ole Miss and learned how atrocious it all is, you get a little battle scarred. My guess is Leigh Anne was shoving it in the face of whoever said the kids were “up to no good”. And yes, I have heard that she is a bit over the top. I can be too. When you are just SO SICK of it you want to scream!
And it does cut both ways – I have mentored inner city kids for over 30 years now. I’ve listened to older black women complain that I was trying to teach the kids to “talk white”. Well, I corrected my own nephews when they said “I seen”, so, I am going to correct the child that said “I is”. Jesse Jackson had a talk show a long time ago and said that if you have information on how to be successful then you should share it. I took that to heart. And I was not so condescending as to think they couldn’t do any better. I don’t care how you speak at home or with friends but if you want to do something other than menial labor, you better know how to speak like a professional. Oh, I had the supreme joy of watching that same child I corrected graduate with a degree in criminal justice last year.
How do you think I felt when out with a group of friends and some guy starts saying that only black teachers can teach black children successfully? And all my black friends nodded in agreement. I listened for a bit and then said, “So you believe in segregation?” After a few stunned seconds of silence, he said yes! Whatever happened to judging people on the content of their character? Well, I don’t know where he was when one little boy desperately needed a black male role model but that same little boy called ME when his mother was raped, assaulted and died from the attack. And when his first child was born. And when his grandmother died. He didn’t give a damn that I was white. He just knew I cared.
White savior complex? Really? I do what I do because Jesus said to reach out if you see someone in need. Because I am so wealthy? No! Because my parents divorced when I was 16 and life became a real struggle to survive. I know what it feels like to be passed over because you can’t afford things. But I remember how healing it was for someone to show me kindness or generosity or support.
I have no doubt that Leigh Anne is just trying to shine a light on ignorance. You’ll probably think I am patting myself on the back with this post. I’m just trying to point out that there is plenty of judgement going around on all sides. But what really is needed is heart to heart caring. None of us is perfect but don’t condemn someone for trying. Especially don’t lump all white Southerners together – that is a socially acceptable prejudice to have it seems. Don’t forget that it was Morris Dees – a white, male, Southern attorney – that crippled the KKK. That is a topic for another discussion!
Good point Kathy C. I personally am not impressed by the incident and tend to side with the writer of the article, ( I’m white by the way ), however your points are true and I completely forgot about Morris Dees – my hero! He is definitely an incredible person 😀
You people are so negative smh
Reblogged this on MadameMadiba.
She needed to deal with her friend. The friend was the problem here, not the kids. And to harass the kids in some effort to *maybe* teach the friend a lesson? That’s bad enough but to splash it around looking for pats on the back is just sickening.
So many people today (no matter what their race) are taking things/issues too personally. If you don’t like it….don’t listen…if it doesn’t affect you personally then ignore it…..grow up and live life…..live a joyous and happy life…use your resources to bring joy to others….not to make lives miserable.
Are you EVEN kidding me!!!????? Why cannot someone reach out to someone without retribution!? You are an idiot and if I have one guess……I would guess the last time you helped someone was…..never! *steamed*
Helping is great, however they weren’t asking for help. They were minding their own business and she got in their space.
Everyone needs to stop making it a race issue. Seriously, or generation is undoing everything that the previous generations have done. How sad that so many peopl have lost their lives, black, white, Hispanic, etc. to fight for equality. Now it’s all about how people are against African Americans. I just question who is the real racist here, because I don’t believe it’s white against black, it’s becoming the African Americans becoming overly sensitive to everything and anything one says to them. We all have the same rights no matter what color skin you have, but let’s be honest… Despite your skin color… If you do something not normal, or wrong… You will get attention…
Was any attempt ever made to follow up with these two teens and see what their actual reaction was? Did THEY feel this as a series of tone deaf racial micro aggressions? Were they happy that someone gave them the money to see the game they wanted to see? What was their ACTUAL reaction, as opposed to the hypothetical ones that this article and all the responses are positing? This piece is why actual reporting is 10,000 times more valuable as journalism than opinion pieces.
Here are some facts that do not have assumptions behind them. Prompted by a negative comment made by a person of unknown gender and race about the character of two minors, an adult invaded a private conversation and invaded the personal space of two minors by sitting next to them without saying so much as hello to them first. This adult went on to give the minors money and have them pose for a picture with them. If you are a parent yet can not see how this was not okay then set aside your biases, switch the known genders and race of everyone involved. Would your reaction be the same if a black adult male had invaded the conversation and personal space of two Caucasian female paying customers of the same age who were visiting his business, after another person found to be behaving in a suspicious manner, and then gave them money before having them pose for a picture with him? Because if not you are hardly as open and unbiased as you might pretend to be.
How racist of an article. She made a post to fight against racial profiling and encourage people not to jump to conclusions. I don’t necessarily agree with the picture. But she is trying to move forward, and you are taking steps backward. It is people like you who give Liberals a bad name. It is a human being helping other human beings. Not white helping black. You criticize every single part of her post. Quit painting every racial engagement negatively and be part of a positive change. There was no need for such a pessimistic analysis of her act.
Thank you!
I think you just articulated what I feel about this.
But nicer, with less hostility than I did.
May I just say that you are completely making up the assumption that the phrase, “don’t judge a book by its cover” implies that the cover is “ugly” or “bad”? I’ve known since I was about seven years old that that phrase goes either way — you absolutely can’t assume that a book with an “ugly” cover is a bad book…but neither can you assume that a book with the most beautiful cover you’ve ever seen is a good book! So…how about instead of trying to read racism into every word and action of white people, you just take it as a kind deed that a nice woman did for two equally nice boys. Sure, I think its annoying for anyone to post all of their kind deeds on social media…it’s like asking for praise and attention; but that’s just how famous people in general do things — no matter what race they are.
How sad a world we live in where people are ridiculed and insulted for trying to help in the best way they know how. Who here thinks that Ms. Tuohy should be a perfect individual? I think the author should try CONSTRUCTIVE criticism next time they analyze the attempts of others in fighting racism.
Leigh Ann is the one that took Michael Ore in. You in now the guy that plays for the Ravens. She helps anyone regardless of color. Remember the movie The Blindside. It is about her.
You all are idiots she just acted like a normal concerned mother type she didn’t care what color they were and the photo was just to say hey these are just boys not somthing to be scared of
Whoever wrote this article is an a$$ h0le.
Overall, she is spreading a message of crossing racial boundaries (particularly in a town with major racial divide like the Memphis, TN area).
Grow up
Really?! Really!?! Somebody always has an opinion even when it’s something small. There are so many other more important things to talk about. She a woman trying to open eyes at least she did something. How many others see and do nothing? How many others don’t see at all? At this point we need as many eyes opened as we can.