Fifteen Assumptions That Might Be Useful To Make

7 Mar

1. Assume that you are loved.

2. Assume that those who love you find some kind of value in you and the things you do.

3. Assume, however, that you don’t need to be valuable in order to be worthy of love.

4. Assume that there is no one out there keeping a tally of all of your failings, ready to throw it in your face when you’re either feeling too good or too awful about yourself.

5. Assume that if anyone actually is keeping a tally of all your failings, that act says more about them than it does about you.

6. Assume that you can’t make all of the people happy all of the time; maybe not even some of the people some of the time.

7. Assume that you will, over the course of your life, sometimes anger or disappoint the people you love.

8. Assume that when this happens, it isn’t the end of the world, even if that’s what it feels like.

9. Assume that there is never an end to learning, or growing, or discovering.

10. Assume that you will always find a way out, even when all the doors slam shut and everything feels impossible.

11. Assume that sometimes earnestness and optimism can trump irony and cynicism.

12. Assume that it’s possible to recapture the way you felt when you were young, how the perfect clockwork mechanism of the universe used to leave you breathless and giddy with wonder.

13. Assume that there will always be more stories to tell, or at the very least new ways of reinterpreting old fables.

14. Assume that nothing is permanent, that someday even the sun will disappear; remember that everything we see and touch and taste is made of stars that grew and pulsed and died long before this planet ever existed.

15. Assume that you are under some kind of obligation to make the world a better place.


261 Responses to “Fifteen Assumptions That Might Be Useful To Make”

  1. lidsamy March 13, 2013 at 12:42 am #

    Reblogged this on lidsamy and commented:

  2. Notes To Ponder March 13, 2013 at 12:48 am #

    Assume that life doesn’t come with a guide book, and forgive yourself for doing the best you can.

  3. emekatalks March 13, 2013 at 10:11 am #


  4. Laura March 13, 2013 at 11:01 am #

    My grandmother always told me that you should never assume. Well, this just proved her wrong, a feat my dad and his brother have been trying to accomplish for years. Nice work!

  5. carlosavs7 March 13, 2013 at 1:07 pm #

    Reblogged this on carlosavs7.

  6. hoppybottoms March 13, 2013 at 1:41 pm #

    What a great post. I especially like number 15. We should all assume that our main goal, through whatever venue, is to make the world a better place. I love the picture.

  7. Adelheid March 13, 2013 at 2:16 pm #

    Nice post. Here in the Philippines, the word “assumptive” somehow have a negative connotation. It is often tied up with girls who misinterpret guys’ actions towards them. But really, this post put back on my mind the word’s original meaning . Thanks

  8. Dagny March 13, 2013 at 3:40 pm #

    Reblogged this on Serenely Rapt and commented:
    These assumptions are not easy to swallow. If you are anything like me, assuming their opposites would be a lot easier.

    On a slightly different note, who was the smart- ass who performed that particularly pedestrian bit of alphabet play with the word ASSUME and brought in an asinine whiff of pure bad taste into the ‘propah’ minds of the innocent? If you find him (or her, though frankly I think this kind of thing is more male than female. Yes, in this one thing I have a gender bias you couldn’t hide behind the Everest), please to shoot him betwixt the eyes. And no warning. The silly ass..! I know there is no pun there, but if there were, it would have been VERY intended..!

    I began to gag from the word GO, if you must know. I disagreed with all of them from one to fourteen. The last one saved me from a perfect score. The absolute contrariness in me made me mad about that too. But you knew that, right? My reactions are what a pious little miss would call negative. But who cares what a prim little runt thinks anyhow?

    I was just going to click my way out of this mush when some forgotten memory rose out of my subconscious and caught me by the throat.

    Many years ago, I read a book called Best Year Yet!. On an aside, if you’ve ever felt that you are floundering around aimlessly in your life and are simply not able to put your act together because you don’t even know what your act is, then click on that link and dive in. When you surface, you can feel all the gratitude (toward me, naturally) you want. I know you aren’t cheap and would express it wiring obscenely large amounts into my Swiss Bank account. Just in case you feel embarrassed about offering me money for this good turn I am doing you, let me assure you that I would not be embarrassed accepting it. Since this is NOT a sponsored link and the site isn’t going to pay me zilch, I am eager to clean up somewhere. And buddy, you’re IT..!

    In this life changing book Jinny Ditzler relates an incident that happed when she was a teen. As a result of this incident, Jinny says, she internalized some very debilitating beliefs about her own person and her value to others- specially to members of the opposite sex. Many years and failed relationships later, when she identified this painful incident as the one where her belief system had gone haywire, she began working on herself. One of the things she did was the “I am beautiful and deserve to be loved” kind of positive affirmations while planted in front of a mirror. I remember reading that she couldn’t say the words. Apart from making her feel like a priceless ass (oh damn that word again!), it sounded so utterly false to her… such a blatant lie.

    Until then, her self talk included declaratives like “Nobody loves me”, “I am not worthy of love”…… you get the drift. She then consciously (and very bravely), breaks down her predominantly negative self talk. She comes to the conclusion that her negative self talk was just as false as the positive self talk she was trying to learn..! That was a moment of change for her. She decided to speak the lie that would- with no harm to another person- buoy her up to move forward in her life instead of speaking the negative lie which had only been dragging her under for years..!

    None of these assumptions are going to be easy to internalize. But I’d rather speak a positive lie which makes me feel better about myself than a negative one which does nothing but make me feel terrible. Simplistic? Perhaps. I have been accused of being a Pollyanna. You know what? I’m VERY okay with being one. The alternative sucks..!


  9. pommevie March 13, 2013 at 9:09 pm #

    Reblogged this on Apple of Life.

    • harsh berry March 14, 2013 at 1:28 pm #

      was not knowing this… the 2nd last para above… the thing about positive lie.

  10. lexi March 14, 2013 at 3:30 am #

    Wow, what great things can I say about these assumptions that hasn’t already been said in previous comments. They are amazing and I will endeavor to do those that I’m not already doing and for those I am already assuming I will endeavor to do them better. Thanks for sharing. Are all of these creations of your own mind or a good collection of key learnings from other equally wise souls? Assume that I am now following your blog 🙂 Cheers.

  11. bloggeretterized March 14, 2013 at 5:58 am #

    Reblogged this on Bloggeretterized and commented:
    This post goes perfectly well with my Wednesday Fuel tradition. Hope it fuels you too.

  12. Writer / Mummy March 14, 2013 at 10:09 am #

    Reblogged this on writermummy and commented:
    Oh this is just lovely! Had to share…

  13. Writer / Mummy March 14, 2013 at 10:10 am #

    How beautiful. I think these have become my new life lessons. Thank you

  14. termsmom March 14, 2013 at 1:58 pm #

    Reblogged this on termsmom and commented:
    I found these awesome things that you SHOULD assume!! Usually, we talk about NOT assuming too much. Today, I’m going to assume some things. Try it with me, won’t you???

    • gabrielgarbowota March 14, 2013 at 3:47 pm #

      Most of the items on this list are oft-repeated addages, but the way they are re-framed here – as “assumptions” – got me thinking about the advice differently.

      I *will* try assuming some things with you today.

  15. megann525 March 14, 2013 at 9:42 pm #

    I’ve nominated you for the very inspiring blogger award. This post is brilliant, I think it’s something everyone should take note of and keep in mind. Congrats 🙂 details etc will be on my blog soon!

  16. ltlraystl March 15, 2013 at 4:22 pm #

    Reblogged this on a conversation (with whomever will listen) and commented:
    I came across this on the “Freshly Blogged” homepage on WordPress. Very well said!

  17. Rhianna March 15, 2013 at 6:42 pm #

    Reblogged this on rhiannalyse.

  18. Daniel Oliech March 16, 2013 at 10:46 am #

    Reblogged this on GREATNESSWITHIN and commented:
    Just kinda assuming that it is my obligation as well as yours to reblog such awesome stuff.

  19. OyiaBrown March 16, 2013 at 2:32 pm #

    Reblogged this on Oyia Brown.

  20. warda Ch March 16, 2013 at 4:00 pm #

    wonderful.,… love it…

  21. happyfamily2 March 17, 2013 at 12:32 pm #

  22. katekingsley89 March 17, 2013 at 4:08 pm #


  23. vaweber March 17, 2013 at 11:57 pm #

    Perfect–a lovely reminder.

  24. futurebegonia8 March 18, 2013 at 9:49 pm #

    Love it.. thanks

  25. C. C. Cedras March 19, 2013 at 5:47 pm #

    Reblogged this on Stilettos, Stoli & Scribbles and commented:
    These are thoughts and aspirations that I wish we’d thought of, but we’re smart enough to share them here at SS&S. The Belle Jar is a wonderful blog — you should check it out! What do YOU think? What are some other useful assumptions we should make?

  26. Mentil Mind March 19, 2013 at 5:53 pm #

    Wo-o-oh! This is so friggin true. I love the way that this can almost come across as conceited but the way in which you write it saves your butt

  27. hdfloyd73 March 20, 2013 at 2:26 am #

    This is Beautiful! ❤

  28. harlimae March 20, 2013 at 7:44 am #

    Awesome 🙂

  29. xdanigirl March 20, 2013 at 3:56 pm #

    Reblogged this on TheLifeandTimesofaMom and commented:
    What wonderful thoughts to live by!

  30. Mark Spencer March 20, 2013 at 5:34 pm #

    Reblogged this on Musings of a Mis-Fit and commented:
    Though we may KNOW these things, we often fail to remember them.

  31. paulbowler March 20, 2013 at 10:52 pm #

    That’s awesome!

  32. Charlie March 21, 2013 at 3:02 pm #

    Reblogged this on My Rags To Riches Story and commented:
    Well written, and very true.

  33. reikipixie March 21, 2013 at 4:48 pm #

    Reblogged this on 2souls1unicycle.

  34. reikipixie March 21, 2013 at 4:50 pm #

    love this! – reblogged it on

  35. bttcwjudi March 23, 2013 at 6:30 pm #

    Thank you

  36. Marci Wise March 26, 2013 at 3:40 pm #

    Love it! You made my day with this one!

  37. chicmomdiaries2013 March 26, 2013 at 4:47 pm #

    Amazing, I must say I’m printing this and just hanging in front of my desk. Thank you!

  38. Project Deeds March 27, 2013 at 1:58 am #

    This is just great!.Especially #9. If we are not learning/growing then what the heck are we doing with our time. Do you think that this assumption has to be intentional?

    Congrats on Freshly Pressed

  39. artwyrd March 27, 2013 at 10:21 am #

    Reblogged this on WyrdSmithing and commented:
    Things I need to be reminded of on a fairly frequent basis … nicely done Belle Jar.


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