Leigh Anne “That Nice Woman Sandra Bullock Played In The Blind Side” Tuohy recently posted the following picture and caption on her Facebook and Instagram accounts:
“We see what we want! It’s the gospel truth! These two were literally huddled over in a corner table nose to nose and the person with me said “I bet they are up to no good” well you know me… I walked over, told them to scoot over. After 10 seconds of dead silence I said so whats happening at this table? I get nothing.. I then explained it was my store and they should spill it… They showed me their phones and they were texting friends trying to scrape up $3.00 each for the high school basketball game! Well they left with smiles, money for popcorn and bus fare. We have to STOP judging people and assuming and pigeon holing people! Don’t judge a book by its cover or however you’d like to express the sentiment! Accept others and stoping seeing what you want to see!!!”
The comments on both posts are full of people praising her – telling her how awesome she is, how open-minded, how kind. Reading these responses is completely baffling – like, did these people and I all read the same words?
Let’s break down what happened here:
1. Two teenagers were sitting alone and completely minding their own business.
2. A white woman decides that based on the fact that they are “huddled” in corner “nose to nose,” they must be “up to no good.” Because obviously whenever Black people (especially Black men) gather in public, it’s bad news for the rest of us!
3. Another white woman, one Leigh Anne “I Adopted A Black Boy So I Can’t Possibly Be Racist” Tuohy, decides that White Lady #1 is wrong. Which is actually the correct assumption for Ms. Tuohy to make, so I guess this is where some people are getting confused because we see that her intent is good, and that makes us want to believe that the action that follows will also be good. She’s at a crossroad here – two roads diverged, etc. Had she taken the road less travelled, Ms. Tuohy might have said to her friend, “Wow, you’re being really racist right now! I’m not comfortable with how this conversation is going.” Instead, she decided to confront the teenagers who, as a reminder, have done absolutely nothing wrong.
4. Leigh Anne Tuohy walks over to the two boys and sits there in silence. I’m sure that wasn’t scary for two Black teenagers at all, especially given recent events.
5. After what was certainly the most awkward ten seconds of those boys’ lives, Ms. Tuohy asks what’s “happening” at the table. Like, other than two teenagers sitting there talking like anyone sitting at a table might do? Some kids are hanging out and chatting. That is what’s happening.
Unsure of the correct answer to this question – other than “we are two friends sitting together and not causing any trouble,” which probably seemed too obvious for them to point out – the boys remain silent.
6. Leigh Anne tells them that this is her store and they need to “spill.” Again, these kids have done nothing except be in public and be Black.
7. After being interrogated by this woman, and probably afraid that at the very least she’s about the call the cops, the boys show her their phones. This part just breaks my brain, like, these two kids had to show this woman evidence that they are doing exactly what they seem to be doing: sitting at a table and having a conversation.
8. Apparently satisfied with the evidence the boys have presented her with, Leigh Anne Tuohy gives them bus fare and money for popcorn, but not before she has White Lady #1 take her picture with them.
9. Ms. Tuohy then posts this picture to social media and receives thousands of responses lauding her for being such a good person.
Leigh Anne Tuohy profiled two Black kids, invaded their privacy and interrogated them, but somehow people are behaving as if this is some kind of wonderful social justice moment. No. Not even a little. This is some fucked up racial profiling combined with white saviourism, and it is racist as hell. Assuming that those kids were doing something bad was racist. Assuming that she could take up space at their table was racist. Insisting that they talk to her was disrespectful and racist. Wanting evidence that they weren’t up to no good was racist. Treating those boys as props to make her look good and then posting this picture publicly (and honestly, I wonder if the boys consented to that) is incredibly racist.
Also, can we talk about how problematic using the phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover” is when it comes to talking about race? First of all, it begins with the assumption that the “cover” (or in this case, skin) tells you something unappealing about the contents of the book or person. It also implies that there is something unattractive or bad about the “cover” (or, again, skin). I can’t believe that I have to say this, but: there is nothing wrong or bad about Black skin. Black skin is not unpleasant or ugly, and to imply that dark skin might devalue someone is really, really fucked up.
Black people aren’t things. They don’t exist just so that white people can make a point about themselves. These are two real kids who not only had to endure this woman’s microaggressions but have now had their image splashed all over social media – the Facebook picture alone has 150,000 likes and over 12,000 shares. Step away for a hot second from this white woman’s narrative, and think about how those teenagers must feel – having their privacy invaded, having assumptions made about them based on their race, and now having a white woman use their images to get praise for herself.
Now tell me again about how Leigh Anne Tuohy did a good thing.
UPDATE:
One of the two teens involved has responded on Instagram (his name has been blurred out for privacy):
Person One aka Teen Leigh Anne Tuohy approached at KFC:
Yeah people don’t know what really happened because I actually had money I have a job and have had one for over a year I was gonna pay for my brother the other guy in the picture but he was insisting on waiting on his uncle but his phone was dying so we were charging it which is the reason we were in KFC in the first place.and the game was only a 3 min walk up the street I don’t see why she said bus fare that kinda ticked me off a little but the way she worded it is making us sound less fortunate and that isn’t the case at all & when she came over to us she never mentioned her initial reason was because of her friends comment im just now finding that out
Person Two:
May I ask how she asked for the photo?
Person One:
Yeah she never actually asked for it as she was handing us the money she was like “hey you know what I think this would be a great picture” and everyone with her was yeah totally so we just kinda went along with the situation like sure why not your Michael Oher’s mom but the whole time I was thinking you know why’d she come up to us in the first place I was still clueless up until she posted the picture on social media and stated “the person with me said I bet they’re up to no good.”
The Belle Jar 
Apols for typos phone has a mind of its own
Great Miss Belle…
You’ve obviously never been a poor white teenager, because this same sort of thing happens to them. Unless you’re obviously from an affluent family, playing lacrosse and winning high school robotics contests, adults view you with suspicion. I’ve been followed in stores, eye balled, “interrogated,” as you so dramatically put it.
Why is this “white saviorism?” White people are only supposed to help other white people out? Explain to me how I’m supposed to support racial justice and equality without developing a “white savior complex. Seriously, because I find it extremely offensive that you seem to think white people who help non-whites are doing so only for self-serving reasons. And no, you’re at least 99% wrong about “don’t judge a book by its cover” being a racist phrase. It’s not. It’s just not, just like me not liking black licorice isn’t. For goodness sake, this it just too much.
I agree with you that these teens had their privacy invaded, and that it was very tacky and insensitive for this woman to take pics and pat herself on the back on social media, but… honestly, I’m more interested in what the boys thought than about what you think— and maybe, just maybe they were happy that some crazy white lady enabled them to go see their game and have some popcorn. Maybe they were uncomfortable or even afraid for a few minutes, but maybe now that it’s over, they’re looking at what the intent was. Indeed, IF the intent was just to get some social media praise, that’s a shame, but… why assume the worst? No harm meant, no harm done.
I think the reason she approached it like an interrogation was to make the point that they weren’t doing anything wrong. White woman satire.
Can nobody do anything nice anymore without someone trying to twist it and make them like their the bad person. She took in a black man and raised him as her own. I mean, seesh people!!
The boys walked away happy, she was able to feel content by doing a good deed and she proved her friend wrong. I don’t see what the issue is. There are so many ways this could have ended that would qualify you to scream racism, but uhh this is not one of them. People cause serious issues regarding racism to be marginalized by consistently calling everything racism. I’m Black and I think its pretty annoying.
SHE DIDN’T DO A GOOD DEED.
Reblogged this on My Life on Automattic.
I ran across this post on Facebook and am hoping this website is a parody. If this utter drivel is meant to be taken serious, then I feel sorry for the tortured mind that believes it. Want to talk about racism? Find an actual problem. Rants about insignificant “news” like this and ad hominem attacks against a good person proving a point (that is, that her friend was wrong in assuming two black teens were up to no good) is exactly why the mainstream doesn’t take this neo-civil rights movement serious. Hypersensitivity and political correctness have eroded basic common sense and you are fighting against your own point. I’m not going to point out every example of the double standard you employ in this post, because I understand it is wasted breath. But please, go find a real cause to rant about.
She and the other person should have minded their own business. If I were those guys I would have asked for taxi fare.
Oh dear lord. I particularly appreciate your point that they had to provide evidence for how they were not doing anything wrong, the implications of her book-cover language, and how frustratingly typical it is for her to be praised for her anti-racist actions. This is why the events in Ferguson and Staten Island extend WAY beyond the actions of police – our perception that black men are fundamentally dangerous is deeply ingrained and reinforced by the media and by well-meaning generally nice non-people of color (and sometimes other people of color, too) all the time. Thank you for taking the time to call her out.
I could not have said this better. Thsnk you for posting thus. Racism is disgused in so many different ways but it still exists. What that lady did would have made me very nervous and i would have felt disrespected and like she was being a racist.
I have to disagree with this article.
This article is so racist, I can’t believe people is actually attacking a woman, who they have never met for her actions above and for adopting a child of another race, whom by the way, accepts his adopted family as his own, and as far a I know, loves her adopted mother. Yet, the assumption is that this woman is some sort of cryptic racist, who uses the fact that she adopted a black baby to forward her racist agenda against black people, which consist of engaging young black men in conversation and giving them money to go to a game. Not only racist, but absurd.
However, for the sake of argument here is a second scenario:
White woman #1 is afraid of two black teenagers. She approaches white woman #2, who confirms that the two teenagers are black and therefore they are up to no good. White woman#1’s fears feed white woman#2 fears of black males, and white woman#2’s fears reciprocate feeding white woman#1 fears. This continues, forming a self feeding loop. In a few minutes, fear increases exponentially, two teenagers who were sitting, peacefully, at a local restaurant, are perceived as thugs. This perception is accurate, they are thugs in the mind of white woman#1. They must be, she corroborated her fears with white woman#2, who in turn corroborated her fears with white woman#1. She calls 911. The 911 operator dispatches law enforcement to investigate suspicious activity at XYC Local restaurant. The cop is told that there are two black males in their teens behaving suspiciously. The cop, who comes in contact with the worst society has to offer in his daily life, does not equates suspicious behavior with sitting down keeping to themselves. Suspicious behavior, in the cop’s mind, means drug dealing, stalking, battery, conspiracy to commit armed robbery, conspiracy to commit murder, etc., but not sitting down peacefully, keeping to themselves.
The cop arrives on scene, and he behaves according to his training, which has prepared him well to deal with suspicious behavior. His experience has taught him, that the moment when a law enforcement officer confronts a criminal suspect is an extremely dangerous moment, his life is in danger, the life of all those bystanders is in danger. The cop approaches the teenagers. His training dictates that he adopt an authoritarian stand, teenagers behave as teenagers do when confronted by authority, which makes the cop suspicious. He becomes aggressive, raising his voice, trying to gain control of the situation. The teenage kids become afraid. The fear of teenager #1 feeds the fear of teenager #2, the fear of teenager #2 reciprocates. The fear of both teenagers feed the cop’s suspicions, at this particular instant, in his mind, these are criminals caught red-handed in the commision of a crime. Otherwise, why would they be so afraid? The cop fears for his life, the teenage boys fear for their lives. A sudden move, fed by fear, a reaction, in fear, two teenage boys death, and a cop, who in three months time will be found to have acted in self-defense according to the law. The media has a field day. Americans are baffled, how can cops get away with killing black men?
And that is what racism is, fear. Fear of others that look different than us. Fear so strong that it prevent us from seeing other people’s struggle, kindness and beauty.
Leigh Anne Tuohy did not intrude in the teenagers privacy, as is claimed by the author, or did she? I do not know, I was not there, but neither was the author. However, I do know for a fact that human beings are known to intrude in each others lives in the process of socializing. I wonder, how the author goes about meeting people without intruding in their privacy, after all ‘what is your name?’ and ‘what do you do for a living?’ are bits of personal information and therefore private. Also, revealing personal bits of information, e.g., I own this establishment, is a natural occurrence in the process of getting acquainted.
Fear is not what Leigh Anne Tuohy displayed. She saw a woman who was afraid of two black teenagers and she acted in a way that discredited that woman’s fears. Perhaps, enabling that woman to dismiss her fears, allowing her to interact with black teenagers, in the future. And by posting it on social media, she might have given an example of how to act when confronted by two black male teenager sitting at a local restaurant minding their own business, talk to them. GENIUS!!! Awfully, if more people follow her example, we will realize that young black men are human beings no different from us, that the hollywood stereotype is wrong, that our fears are wrong.
Leigh Anne Tuohy’s actions were not racist, conceited maybe, but definitely not racist. I cannot say the same for the author of this article, judging by this article you are racist.
“Yet, the assumption is that this woman is some sort of cryptic racist, who uses the fact that she adopted a black baby to forward her racist agenda against black people…”
You seriously think that? I’m sure it’s much easier to dismiss everyone if you first twist their statements into something as absurd as what you wrote. But that’s not what anybody is actually saying.
Personally, I see a woman whose good intentions went badly wrong, who probably should have known better, and who is squandering a chance to learn something from the experience.
Yes, I know she adopted a black son. You know what? So have I (I’m a white man), and it didn’t magically cleanse me of every misconception or lingering pocket of ignorance about white privilege and the black experience in America. I still have to actively listen, investigate, and think.
I’m not sure Ms. Tuohy sees it that way, though.
Hear, hear! Well said, tinyboss.
All i can say is, Wow!!!
Reblogged this on Beautifully Organized Chaos and commented:
If only more people thought things through. That would be great.
This exact same thing happened to me when I was a teenager! Except I wasn’t black so I didn’t leave with bus fare and money for popcorn.
Amazing!
Me thinks a few deep breaths and some perspective are in order. What if they were two white boys in trench coats? Too much vitriol to make a solid point here other than the writer is clearly as passionate about judging others as she is about helping them… In the end, it worked for them and this author just comes across as bitter.
I think the article raises some very valid points and kudos to the author for choosing to write it despite inevitable backlash. What is most disheartening to me about the whole encounter is that Mrs. Tuohy chose to not only take a photograph with these young men, but then broadcast the story via social media. Let’s put ourselves in the boys’ shoes and imagine what it’s like when our peers in high school see our picture blasted on social media with an accompanying story about how we allegedly couldn’t afford a $3 basketball game. Not that kids should care what other’s think, but we’ve all been in high school and can attest that it can be a sensitive time. I think it was not only negligent but also selfish of Mrs. Tuohy to put their business out into the world. To tell Michael’s story when he was already successful in the NFL is one thing, but for boys who are allegedly struggling and still in high school, I think there is high chance they might feel embarrassed by the incident.
My main point of commenting is this however (and this goes for not only Mrs. Tuohy but countless other cases of “heroism” I’ve seen lately), I feel that in this day and age so many “good deeds” are done solely so those doing them can then take to social media and garner praise. Of course we all feel great when we help someone out be it giving a few bucks to a homeless person, buying a candy bar from a student participating in a fundraiser, or volunteering our time for a good cause….BUT what happened to altruism??? Does doing a good deed no longer feel as rewarding if our Facebook and Twitter followers don’t know about it afterward??? In my opinion when you give/volunteer/help out and then broadcast it, it’s as if you’re trying to prove that you’re a good person to others and more importantly perhaps trying to also convince yourself. I love to see a heartwarming story just as much as the next person, but when some one helps out to seemingly promote themselves…their story and message to the world become lost in narcissism.
Amazing, well presented article. It really dissects the white saviour complex in an undeniable way
I think the article raises some very valid points and kudos to the author for choosing to write it despite inevitable backlash. What is most disheartening to me about the whole encounter is that Mrs. Tuohy chose to not only take a photograph with these young men, but then broadcast the story via social media. Let’s put ourselves in the boys’ shoes and imagine what it’s like when our peers in high school see our picture blasted on social media with an accompanying story about how we allegedly couldn’t afford a $3 basketball game. Not that kids should care what other’s think, but we’ve all been in high school and can attest that it can be a sensitive time. I think it was not only negligent but also selfish of Mrs. Tuohy to put their business out into the world. To tell Michael’s story when he was already successful in the NFL is one thing, but for boys who are allegedly struggling and still in high school, I think there is high chance they might feel embarrassed by the incident.
My main point of commenting is this however (and this goes for not only Mrs. Tuohy but countless other cases of “heroism” I’ve seen lately), I feel that in this day and age so many “good deeds” are done solely so those doing them can then take to social media and garner praise. Of course we all feel great when we help someone out be it giving a few bucks to a homeless person, buying a candy bar from a student participating in a fundraiser, or volunteering our time for a good cause….BUT what happened to altruism??? Does doing a good deed no longer feel as rewarding if our Facebook and Twitter followers don’t know about it afterward??? In my opinion when you give/volunteer/help out and then broadcast it, it’s as if you’re trying to prove that you’re a good person to others and more importantly perhaps trying to also convince yourself. I love to see a heartwarming story just as much as the next person, but when some one helps out to seemingly promote themselves…their story and message to the world become lost in narcissism.
As a teenager–especially a male teenager of color–there is a serious dearth of social interactions w people of older generations. Teens suffer from this lack of interaction, and often guidance from an older person w good intentions would go a long way.
This article is over racializing the situation. And it is spreading the message that an older person should ignore young people–even when they seem to be going through a tough time.
It’s not a little bit ironic that so many people, who are apparently upset that Leigh Anne Tuohy is presumptuous and intrusive, can simultaneously be so apparently oblivious that they themselves are making unfounded assumptions about what’s going on in Leigh Anne Tuohy’s head, what’s motivating her, how she sees herself. I’m not very much like Leigh Anne Tuohy myself, in most ways. But I think her most important message is indeed important, if not profound: Don’t assume you know something you don’t know. And when you don’t know, there are things you can do to find out. You can ask someone about themselves. Or you can ask someone who actually knows that person. You could ask Michael Oher about Ms. Touhy, for instance. Do you think that a 16-year old Michael Oher had any reason to trust anyone, White or Black? But he seems to trust Leigh Anne Tuohy. Why? Further, you assert that Leigh Anne Tuohy is doing something wrong, and harmful. Can you bring forward the people she has hurt? Do you have any witnesses, let alone victims? Does Leigh Anne Tuohy believe in Saviours? I believe she does. But I’m also pretty sure she does not think the Saviour is her. And I’m no Christian. I’d suggest people practice what they’re preaching. Stop looking at the color of Leigh Anne Tuohy’s skin. If she were Black, would you mind what she’s doing? If not, then what does it matter if she’s White, and what does that make you? What I see in Leigh Anne Tuohy is that she’s a fairly extreme extrovert, she has a lot of energy, and yes, she’s kind of bossy. But none of that does not mean she’s not doing good. Should you really care why she does what she does? Look at the results. And again, for me, her most important message is: Don’t assume you know something you don’t know. That is powerful. And it’s particularly powerful because of precisely who and what Leigh Anne Touhy is, and who will listen and be persuaded by her: White people. (And if you want to accuse Leigh Anne Touhy of wanting to “save” anyone, I’d say that White people are the people she’s actually trying to “save.”) And by the way, if you listen to her talk about Michael Oher, she does not take credit for what he’s become. All she claims is that she and her family gave him a better chance to be who he already was. How is that wrong?
Reblogged this on The Thoughts & Opinions of An A Angry Black Woman and commented:
Excellent article exposing White Saviour complex and narcissism.
I personally do not have any negative thoughts on Leigh Anne but positivity! She is a great woman with a heart of gold. If any adult of any color was to sit randomly at my table with my friend as we are deep in conversation and huddled, I wouldnt say anything either. I do not think she did anything wrong whatsoever and everything you said was idiotic.
Wow!! That’s all I can say!!
When did asking what’s going on to people that are loitering in your place of business become interrogating?
When she didn’t get an answer, sat a while longer, still didn’t get an answer, and then told them it was her store and that “they’d better spill”. I think that’s the exact point where it became an interrogation.
she needs to make amends over her behavior to these two young men
During the Nicaragua War we took in two children. They were darker skinned than our kids. We would go into stores and the sales people would watch them like a hawk. But our kids moved around freely. Prejudice in action.
Man, it would have been tough for me not to dress down the sales people for pulling that crap. My knee jerk reaction would have been to stand very close to the offending employees and stare at them pointedly until they became uncomfortable, then offer, “That’s how my kids feel when you do that.”
I was tempted but did not want to make a scene. There is a reason. The children had been smuggled to me and therefore could have been a problem if it went upstairs. I was caught between a rock and a stone.
So, you’re a felon?
Well, I’m glad you are a rock for them. OXOX
Reblogged this on Words and Letters.
You can’t have a “savior complex” without caring about others. Also, Tuohy never said the friend was white. For all you know, the friend could have also been black and the discussion about judging teenagers. *You* made the racist assumption.
Very interesting article. I will say this much: Not everybody is a racist. And we all as people do need to understand that our unapologetically and highly prejudicial society allows us to govern ourselves in a way that is politically correct in our immediate circles, and downright offensive in others. Ms. Tuohy is not a racist. However, her actions are reinforcing the very myth and stereotype that it appears she is trying to debunk. As for the whole “white saviourism” argument, I beg to ask the question: was it white saviorism when jewish people were cosigning interest free loans for black people and moving them into nicer parts of town? Was it white saviorism when some white canadian men and women help devise, plot and operate the underground railroad? As black people, we need to be extremely careful about distinguishing our allies from our enemies. And me thinks Ms Tuohy is far closer to being an ally than an enemy. It’s our job to enlighten her and people like her to the confusion in her rhetoric and actions. To not understand these discrepancies is to reinforce the very foolish and hostile inconsistencies that American society has been propagating.
Or like most people you read too far into somethings, and it is an innocent situation. How do you know the same thing would not have happened to two other (what ever skin color you like) boys? Teenagers especially boys are quite mischievous. She may be wrong, but so are you.
It’s all got out of hand, hasn’t it. I agree with this, but at the same time it’s become clear that people can’t move nowadays without being accused of racism. That includes all races, creeds & colours, not just ‘white’.
Great post. Sorry about the racist commenters.
You’re probably not old enough to remember the Palmolive commercial, where a couple of white women are supposedly told to put their hands in these little bowls to test some new kind of moisturizer. Then they’re informed it’s really Palmolive dishwashing liquid. The big reveal line is “It’s Palmolive! You’re soaking in it!” I always think of that commercial when folks can’t/don’t/won’t see white privilege in action.
You’re soaking in it!
Yeah I guess she was in the wrong to approach the two men she should of just done the whole separate but, equal kind of thing. I mean to think a white person with good intentions could actually exist?
Why is this the narrative why aren’t the 70 some shootings that happen in Chicago every weekend talked about? (Majority of which are black on black.) But we feel it necessary to ridicule this lady for giving these kids some money to see a basketball game. Whats the deal? Would it have been better if she was black, how about purple or any other color other than white?
Nobody would be ridiculing her if she hadn’t taken that ridiculous selfie with them and posted it to Facebook. Oh, and even attached a pretentious “sermon” about it, too.
Come oh. You HAVE to ridicule that.
Exactly. And we pronounce that NAR-CISS-CISM.
I don’t see anywhere her mentioning race! In fact its the author of this piece that makes race the issue. 2 teenage boys, one in a hoodie, both appearing secretive is what could have drawn her attention- you are assuming race is the issue, and therefore in my opinion are more of a racist. I’m sick of people (generally black people or middle class over pc prats) seeing racism where it isn’t. I don’t see a ‘White Saviour Complex’- ok she is a little self absorbed and fishing for praise here. She is a business owner who seeing 2 young boys trying to afford to do something nice together and helped them out. YOU are making race the issue and YOU even write that they did nothing wrong except be black- so do you think its wrong to be black? WTF!?
She was the one who blogged about books and covers. Being angry at the writer is disingenious, as the woman herself brought up the subject of appearance.
Has anyone noticed (and I didn’t read ALL of the comments) that it seems somewhat unlikely that these particular kids were trying to “scrape together” $3 for a game? Cell phones, head phones, watch, Nike, Jordan, gold chain, earrings, etc. They don’t seem overly deprived to me. Especially not for $3. Probably didn’t need or want any help at all.
This woman has taught these boys a very valuable life lesson-if you sit around doing nothing, opportunities will come to you.
All white people who interact with black people and end up helping them out are indeed racists with Savior complexes. Thank you for pointing out this fact. The world needs to be informed…. Give me a break!
Please sweep up when you’re done with that strawman, thanks.
Ain’t no straw man, tinyboss!
I’m startin’ to like you, tinyboss.
…..
Reblogged this on Black and Tattooed and commented:
Read and learn folks. It’s something so simple and very prevalent in our everyday.
I get the feeling the kids weren’t feeling to invaded considering they posed for a picture with her after the event… And are smiling…..
All of ate taking her intentions out of context. It wasnt about the boys it was to show thst perdon assuming they were up to no good that judy because they look gangsta with the long chain and hoodie doesnt mean they arent civilized young men. In the end she helped them out with theor cause to get the money. We have nothing ti compare that other lady’s mindset to; she couldve thought the same for two white guys wearing the same thing. We all get alerted by things it isnt always racism could be an experience that says the last time i was around someone with a hoodie on he punched me in the face so this dude with a hoodie might be up to no good. Its also a possibiliy that they were gonna steal a purse or two to get the money. Never know the nicest people get desparate. There too many races in this country to worry about the black vs white struggle
This article is potentially more racist than the story it lays out. If the two kids had been white and she had done the same thing, it would have been no issue, but, the writer sees the color of the skin and assumes it was handled this way because of that, not because they were two teenage boys that were being checked on. I find that there are often none more racist than those who are so anti racist that they can’t help but see racism everywhere they look…..
White saviour complex is indeed racism and deserves to be called out as such…. except when when calling it out shifts the burden of moral responsibility onto black people of course.
I bet if you told this racist lady about a black man who committed aggravated robbery and then assaulted a police officer, grabbed at his gun causing it to go off, and then charged at him a second time even though he had his gun drawn she’d say the cop had no right to defend himself or the public because he was black which means he was just being a ‘gentle giant’.
But calling out this example of white savour complex / white guilt is not allowed because it results in the black man, his family and his community being held morally accountable for their violent, destructive, aggressive, thuggish and deadly behaviour.
It’s sad that society still does not get that the greatest insult to ANY race or social demographic is to hold them to a lower moral standard than everyone else. Excusing behaviour like assaulting an armed police officer or rioting implies those committing these serious crimes are inherently inferior to the rest of society who would never be excused for behaving that way.
I am honestly having trouble figuring out what point you’re trying to make. If you honestly think that ANYONE believes like you describe in the second paragraph (rather than, say, disagreeing about the underlying facts, or expressing concerns that are rooted in a much broader context), then you really need to sit down, take a breath, and prepare to confront the fact that your worldview is a cartoon.
> I am honestly having trouble figuring out what point you’re trying to make.
The point I was making is that society (from bloggers to the media to Obama) has holding black people and black communities to lower moral standards than everybody else.
In Obama’s post-hearing speech about the Michael Brown case not once did he even mention in passing that Brown had acted immorally and provocatively when he attacked an armed officer with chilling brutality and clear ‘murderous intent’. And he didn’t call out the community for rioting – or for provoking those riots by spreading false rumours – all of which is completely unacceptable. Nor did he demand the people who race baited apologise and the people who burned down shops apologise and help to clean them up.
The entire blogosphere was also full of white people apologising for their racism and ‘white privilege’ and they too failed to apply basic moral standard to the behaviour of Brown, his family and the troublemakers in his community.
All of this is totally insulting and completely disempowering to black people.
> disagreeing about the underlying facts,
All the evidence proved the shooting was entirely justified, so much so that there were no grounds to take the case any further. Nobody has provided any evidence to contradict the official findings as per forensics, ballistics, eyewitness testimony etc.
> or expressing concerns that are rooted in a much broader context
I’ve not heard anybody expressing concern for the broader context. The broader context is that this unfortunate man grew up like many black people today in a dysfunctional family with no strong father figures around. After the incident his mother and a friend were caught fighting with relatives after she saw them selling unofficial merchandise on a street corner. Brown’s mother’s friend ended up beating at least one person with a pipe. This is the environment Brown grew up in. Whenever a conflict or challenging social situation arises – the answer is to get violent. This is how he was raised to be, this is how he responded when asked to simply get off the road and this violent reaction is what ultimately killed him.
Another broad context issue not being raised is that if the black community want more black cops on their beat they need to raise their children to not break the law (by for example stealing cigarettes from local stores) which will give them a criminal record and prevent them from being able to get a job in law enforcement.
The victim narrative implies these white cops are somehow wading into black communities like plantation owners overseeing their slaves. The reality is these communities can’t or won’t encourage their own youths to join the police, and so they end up calling cops who inevitably turn out to be white. Then they riot when these cops dare to defend their own lives from maniacs with clear murderous intent. And then they call the cops again to help keep the peace again. And then the set fire to those cops’ cars. And then they beat up their relatives with metal pipes for selling merchandise about the whole incident ….. and then to break up their own violent street brawling they call the cops again. It is absolutely insane.
By not holding these communities, and especially the parents of these young criminals, to basic moral standards wider society is just feeding them more of this pernicious cocktail of ‘victim narrative’ mixed with a sense of entitlement more typically seen in bratty upper middle class teenagers. It is a catastrophic mix. We might as well be greasing a well shaft and throwing them all down it.
I have written letters to my friends that are meant as nothing, but lighthearted and fun! And have had them write me back because apparrently, it “sounded” like i was aggravated and rude! And quickly everybody had comments of how “hateful” of a person i was. Well, my point is, we weren’t there, we do not know exactly how it happened. Also, there is a posibility that she did not write it exactly how it happened. You cannot see a tone or feelings in writing. Sometimes, good things do not look so good on writing. Has anyone thought of writing to this lady and voicing her concerns, maybe you can get to know her and know what truly is in her heart. It does not help anyone to get angry over something that might be just a big -O misunderstanding, but then again, maybe not. But we’ll never know until we go to the source. I am curious though, is it not racist when you make assumption based on color? Is it not racist to assume what is in this ladies heart good or bad because she is “white”? Find out the whole story, then put yourself in her shoes. I hope everyone has a beautiful day!
Ignorant.
Investigating a situation like this does not make one racist. It makes them a parent. Or rather, this is something a parent would do. Kids get up to things. One should be suspicious of conspiratorial teens no matter their skin color. They are most certainly up to something.
Are you a parent? Do you know how to look at children and tell when they are up to something? I do. She went over there because something was going on. Her mother instinct kicked in. The boys WERE up to something. They were trying to hustle up ticket money. I see that she went over there as a concerned adult. Something more people should do and more often with our young citizens. If more people intervened in small ways like this with our young citizens, maybe they can grow up with a sense that people in the world can be good. Instead, most of our young teens are thinking “you are in it for yourself, you need to get yours, to heck with everyone else, and ain’t no one going to help you because you are [insert ethnicity]”.
It’s easy to be a social justice warrior and judge people based on experience and a personal view of racism. It’s harder to suspend your opinion for a second and look at all the factors with objectivity. I suggest people not be so quick to over-analyze a scenario in which a human adult showed concern and consideration for human teens.
If the interaction in question had been between a black adult and black teens or a white adult with white teens, this blog entry would never have been written. Interesting…
So what do we do in a situation like this? If we don’t help people of a different color, we are racist. If we do help people of a different color, we are racist.
Many open minded people in this country avoid having the racism conversation because of this same double jeopardy “damned if we do, damned if we don’t” approach we see all the time from people with good intentions. If I do nothing to effect change, I am passively supporting racism. If I do something to help or effect change, I am condescending or suspicious and therefore racist. Well I guess there is nothing we can do, so why bother? Oops, that was racist too. Sorry.
I also notice that the OP, while eloquently criticizing this privileged white woman, did not point out a single piece of constructive advice. Mrs. Tuohy, the racist woman who adopted a black male teen and raised him as her own child, should have left these 2 teens alone, which by doing so and not helping would have painted her a racist because she did not help them because they were black.
The OP did invite us to consider the feelings of the two teens who had their privacy invaded. I guess the OP never considered that the teens probably knew her (every one in this city knows who Leigh Anne Tuohy is), were comfortable sharing their personal lives (since they knew it was Leigh Anne Tuohy), were gracious and thanked her for her generosity (which they probably did).
Methinks the OP protests too much?
Are you serious with this? You think she would have been “painted as a racist” if her story was instead about how she told her friend to stop being racist, and that was that? You think people would be telling her she was a racist because she didn’t intrude on their conversation, demand to know what the problem was, and solve it for them?
That sounds pretty far-fetched to me. You said that the OP offered no constructive advice, but that was it right there: straighten out your racist “friend”, and leave the kids alone. It’s not their responsibility to participate in your friend’s education.
One white man to another: stop crying about how it’s so UNFAIR that white people keep getting criticized about our understanding of race in this country. You’re trying really hard to make this “damned if we do, damned if we don’t” case, which I guess is more comfortable for you because it means you don’t have to keep trying, keep learning, keep thinking, keep listening. You can just give up instead.
Come on, grow a pair and admit you actually need to learn something, instead of trying so hard to convince yourself that “we’re racist no matter what”. Pussy.
I do admit she was wrong for invading their space but,
I aggree with her.
What the ‘white woman’ said about he boys was completely dispicible. Well done to you! Great post.
People, stop acting like animals and be responsible. Personally, i feel sad that my country doesn’t have so much diversity. We could be taught things one from another.