Ten Lies Depression Tells You

7 Aug

1. You are a bad person who deserves bad things.

2. You are unhappy because you are lazy or lacking in willpower. Happiness is a choice, a choice that you have failed to make. Somehow, somewhere over the course of your lifetime, when faced with some metaphysical fork in the road, you chose the wrong path. You brought this curse down on yourself.

3. Your sadness is the baseline by which the rest of your life should be measured. This sadnesss is your norm, and any other emotions, especially positive ones, are exceptions to the rule. Yes of course there will be good times, of course there will be flashes of joy; you will certainly, on occasion, experience the pleasure of a good book or a ripe juicy peach,  However, those experiences will be few and far between. Your bad days will always outnumber the good.

4. Your family and friends do not love you. Your family are people who feel obligated to spend time with you because as luck would have it you share a similar genetic makeup. Your friends are people that you somehow tricked into thinking that you, as a person, have some kind of value, and now they don’t know how to extricate themselves from your pathetic, needy grasp. No one spends time with you because they enjoy it; they do it out of a sense of duty, a feeling of pity. Whenever you leave a room everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

5. Your family and friends do not want to hear about how sad you are. No matter how sympathetic they may seem, no matter how sincerely they might ask how you are feeling, remember that it’s all an act. The more that you open yourself up to them, the more you pour your heart out, the more resentful of you they become. Do not fall into the trap of sharing your feelings; do not give into the temptation to draw back the curtain and, like a tawdry magician, reveal your grotesque sadness. Your sadness is a choice, remember? This burden is yours to bear alone.

6. Your friends and family deserve better than you. Everyone deserves better than you

7. In order to make up for your unhappiness, it is your responsibility to make sure that everyone around you is happy. If you can manage to maintain a near-constant veneer of kindness, helpfulness and sincere interest in others, then that will make your presence more tolerable. Your amiability, though entirely inadequate, is the best apology that you can make for your existence.

8. Everything is your fault.

If you plan a picnic and it rains, it’s your fault. You should have been more thorough when you checked the weather. You should have learned to be an amateur meteorologist so that you could better read the clouds. You should have packed a canopy. If you go out for dinner, for your once-in-a-blue-moon, hire-a-babysitter-and-wear-a-nice-dress date and the food or service or conversation is anything less than exceptional, it’s your fault. You should have read more restaurant reviews, should have asked friends for more recommendations, should have prepared cue cards with talking points. If someone is unkind to you, it’s your fault. You should have smiled more, been more gracious, tried harder to be whatever it was that they needed in that moment.

Everything is your fault.

9. There is no cure for your sadness, no effective treatment, no way of managing your symptoms. There are, of course, doctors and pills and various therapies that help other people, but you’ve tried all these things and they don’t work for you. Nothing will ever work for you.

10. You will feel this way forever.


84 Responses to “Ten Lies Depression Tells You”

  1. Candyfloss November 2, 2013 at 6:39 am #

    It’s strange, though. What is it you’re supposed to do when your family intentionally reinforces these beliefs? What is it you’re supposed to do when you literally haven’t had friends for years and are completely alone? The truth of it is, everyone needs a support system. I remember my therapist asking me if I had anyone I could turn to, anyone that could be my “safety net” and I had said, repeatedly, that there was no one. Then, exasperated, she said that there must be SOMEONE (which, of course, lead me to feeling more ashamed, more embarrassed) and then she suggested a family member who I occasionally would say positive things about.

    Said family member was supportive in that from time to time they would shame me about where my life has gone and how I have accomplished nothing and saying how I “used to be” so smart and how I “used to have” so much promise when I was younger. In my family you just “get over” depression; why, we’ve all been depressed before! Stop being so melodramatic and take your medicine (said in the most condescending and venomous tone possible, then to add to the sting, include a YOU’RE CRAZY for extra measure).

    Maybe some of these are lies, but I’ve never seen anything that will prove otherwise. Any friends I have had have gotten sick of me being depressed or unable to leave the house, sick of dealing with me either for not sharing enough or for sharing too much.

    The ugly truth is that for some people, this all becomes reality.

  2. dirkcb November 11, 2013 at 6:53 am #

    Excellent Blog.
    Too bad I DID not enjoy.

    The “Lies” were NOT Proven as “Lies”.
    At first reading, the “Lies” seem as
    “Facts” FOR YOU !!
    (Really BAD ‘Facts’ !!)

  3. Michelle January 26, 2014 at 4:28 am #

    Reblogged this on This is a Depression Blog and commented:
    Eyes are a bit watery right now…

  4. bluehero45 January 26, 2014 at 9:03 am #

    Very true, your mind ends up being your worse bully.

  5. Bold Symmetry February 23, 2014 at 6:01 am #

    Reblogged this on Bold Symmetry and commented:
    Spot on. Remember, they’re lies!

  6. nesquikandnetflix February 23, 2014 at 4:02 pm #

    Reblogged this on Nesquik and Netflix and commented:
    “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
    ― George Carlin

  7. vitafey March 4, 2014 at 11:04 pm #

    Reblogged this on Shadows Shape Shifting and commented:
    This is pretty accurate.

  8. mindsyncwilliam March 31, 2014 at 6:58 am #

    At Present work security system is very essential for all. IT helps to save our property and control our unsocial work.depression,depression symptoms,anxiety.

  9. James November 14, 2014 at 10:32 pm #

    Reblogged this on James Marlow's.

  10. diario January 16, 2016 at 5:38 am #

    Thankfulness to my father who told me about this blog,
    this blog is actually awesome.


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