Wet (Or, I Am Acadian)

24 May

Earlier in the week I participated it Write Club Toronto, which is basically like Fight Club, but for writers. Eight writers are pitted against each other in two-person bouts, and whoever wins gets to pick a charity that the proceeds of the evening will be donated to. Each writer is given a topic, and has a little over a week to prepare a seven minute piece based on that topic. My topic was “wet” (my opponent’s, naturally, was “dry”), and I somehow emerged victorious even though I mostly wanted to throw up all over everyone.

I think that my proudest moment was when they asked what my charity was, and I accidentally said the Toronto Ripe Crisis Centre. Go team awkward.

Anyway, if you’re interested, you can find a free podcast of it here.

You can also read the full text below:

My great-grandmother, Alma LeBlanc, was born in this dilapidated old wooden house just outside of Arichat, Nova Scotia. If you’ve ever been to the east coast, you know exactly the kind of place that I mean – peeling paint, sagging walls, everything suffused with an air of grim defeat. The house was on the edge of a cliff on Ile Madame, which is an island off the coast of Cape Breton, and the place where it stood feels like the ends of the earth. When you stand on that cliff, all of North America lies behind you while in front of you the cold, dismal, grey Atlantic stretches on forever and ever. The ground drops away at your feet, and far below you the heartless, grinding waves smash against the rocks.

The climate is damp there, always. Sometimes it’s barely noticeable, just a faint clamminess blowing in off the ocean, and other times it takes the form of a suffocating fog so thick that the droplets of water hang suspended in the air, and it seems like a marvel that you can still breathe. But you can, and you do; you force yourself to keep breathing, you put one foot in front of the other, you keep going. And eventually the damp becomes a daily fact, and you barely notice its presence.

We’re a water people, us Acadians; it’s our element, you might say. This wasn’t always true – not so long ago we were farmers in the Annapolis Valley, that warm, rich, fertile strip of land across mainland Nova Scotia. In those days, our only interaction with water was through the dikes that we built. We were famous for those dikes. In fact, the other day, I did a google image search for “Acadian dykes” and not a single lesbian came up. Our dikes were ingenious, apparently, with mechanisms called aboiteaux that allowed fresh water in from the marshes but kept back the salt water from the sea. Our farms thrived. Things were good.

Of course, this idyllic life didn’t last for long. In 1755 The English rounded up the Acadians and put us all onto boats heading who-the-hell-knew where. Our expulsion officially had something to do with the Seven Year War, French and English politics, oaths we were supposed to swear and the religion that prevented us from doing so, but really, it was about the English wanting to have free run of the east coast.

We could have fought the expulsion, I guess, but that seems foolish when you consider the fact that the English had guns while we had pitchforks and shovels. We don’t come from fighting stock, anyway; most of us are short and pretty scrawny. So we went fairly quietly. But when the English turned us off our land, we threw aboiteaux wide open and let the salt water pour in, our own version of a scorched earth policy. Maybe that was the first time we realized that the water was our ally. A dangerous, unreliably ally, but an ally all the same.

We were split up, families torn apart, and sent off to wherever the English thought there might be room. We were dispatched to places like Baltimore, Boston, Williamsburg – they even built special forced labour camps in England. The boats were little more than prison ships, and over half of us died, but still. We kept going. We had to. And on those ships we learned to tentatively embrace our new home, the water, and treat it with equal measures of fear, love and respect. Thus far we’d thrown our lot in with the land gods, who were by and large fairly gentle and generous. The sea gods, on the other hand, are different. They’re cold, grey and pitiless, and view humans with complete contempt. You wouldn’t make a compact with them unless you had no choice.

We had no choice.

So we became fishermen and shipwrights, we learned to weave nets and build lobster traps. We added widow’s walks to our houses and learned to get used to losing our loved ones to the sea. Some of us straggled back home to Acadia, now called New Scotland, and settled the grim, barren coastlands that no one else wanted. We chose to isolate ourselves from the world around us, with the result that our clothing, speech and way of life didn’t much differ from what would have been found in 17th century France. We grew insular, as a way of protecting ourselves. We tried our best, on the whole, to steer clear of the modern world, and as a result we grew a bit peculiar.

Our names, for example, were peculiar.

I mentioned earlier that my great-grandmother’s name was Alma, but that’s not exactly true. Her full name was Marie Alma, and all of her sisters were also Marie, and all of her brothers were Joseph. Their middle names, though, the names they were called by, are what really fascinate me – Artemise, Evangeline, Sabine, Stella, Napoleon, Casimir, Leander. Strange names, old names, nearly all Greek or Latin; names you wouldn’t think to find among a largely uneducated population. I asked my great-grandmother once where they came from, and she said they came out of the “other” book. Because they had two books, the Bible and the “other” book, though exactly what that second book was she didn’t know.

Alma came from a family of twenty three – twenty three! I can’t even imagine. But as my grandmother says, “My God, Annie, what do you think they did on those long, cold winter nights? They didn’t have tv or radio, and they sure as hell didn’t have birth control.”

What they did have was a farm, and all those children came in handy as free labour. It was impossible to scrape a living for so many people out of that thin, rocky soil, so Alma’s father left his wife and children behind and took to the sea, wrestling the bitter Atlantic waters for whatever he could get. He would leave for weeks, sometimes even months at a time, often returning to discover that all that keeping-warm-on-cold-winter-nights had resulted in yet another mouth to feed. Meanwhile, Alma’s mother oversaw the farm, managed the household accounts and raised their children. Or rather, she did all of these things until she died giving birth to poor Joseph Alfred, unlucky baby number thirteen.

Alma’s father remarried almost immediately, because who the hell was going to take care of his thirteen kids? But like an evil stepmother straight out of a fairytale, his new wife hated her new life, and took out her resentment on her husband’s children. While he was off at sea, she beat them. She starved them. She let them freeze during the bitter winters. She forced one of them, Sabine, who had a bleeding disorder, to walk across sharp grass until her feet bled. The blood oozed out of her for nearly a week, and the priest came three times to give her extreme unction. Somehow, though, she managed to survive.

Survival is the reason that my great-grandmother left Cape Breton as soon as she was able to. Survival is the reason she married an Englishman, had ten English kids with ten English names, and gave up her mother tongue entirely. Assimilation can sometimes seem like the only way forward.

I’m pretty much assimilated. Really, I’m barely Acadian. I’m not even really sure what it means to be Acadian. Is it where you live? The food you eat? The language you speak? I mean, I speak French, but only rarely, and with great embarrassment. I grew up in the wilds of suburban southwestern Ontario, far from any ocean or sea. I don’t know the first thing about dikes or irrigation or anything like that. I can’t even swim, not really – the most I can manage is a pathetic dogpaddle.

Still, though, I’m a water person. It’s in my blood – I mean, both literally and figuratively. As removed as I am from the ocean, it’s still my element. I love being wet. I run outside during thunderstorms and let myself get soaked to the skin. If there’s a lake or river or stream, I have to be in it. Even a public fountain will do, if I have no other options.

Water is where I feel the most like myself.

And when I stand in the spot where my great-grandmother’s house was, and I feel the cold sting of the saltwater on my skin, and I look out into the vast grey Atlantic in front of me, I feel like I’m finally home.

Cape Breton

Cape Breton

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24 Responses to “Wet (Or, I Am Acadian)”

  1. Anita May 24, 2013 at 3:09 am #

    Beautiful! So evocative!

  2. Dreamer of Dreams May 24, 2013 at 3:40 am #

    Brilliant and indeed, quite evocative. I feel the cold, damp air of that place you describe so vividly, so lovingly. This story begs to be continued.

  3. Josette May 24, 2013 at 3:42 am #

    Interesting timing. 😉 beautifully written. Will be sharing with my Acadian posse and beyond. So happy we connected!

  4. AmazingSusan May 24, 2013 at 4:08 am #

    Fuckin’ a girlie! Awesome post 😉

  5. Jen Donohue May 24, 2013 at 4:21 am #

    The “other” book makes me think of the sequence in A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, where the mother-in-law tells Katie that she needed a King James Bible (though they were Catholic, because the language was beautiful) and a volume of the collected works of Shakespeare.

  6. Nicole May 24, 2013 at 4:28 am #

    You make my Acadian heart proud. What a lovely piece!!!

  7. mieprowan May 24, 2013 at 5:31 am #

    Reblogged this on There Are So Many Things Wrong With This and commented:
    Nice piece of writing.

  8. silvermud May 24, 2013 at 8:09 am #

    I have flown over Acadia several times travelling from England to the states and Canada, and, looking loftily down, wondered ”How do people live there?; Thank you for explaining, and i can’t wait to visit. Do you think people will forgive me the British Empire if I am very polite?

  9. Writer / Mummy May 24, 2013 at 9:23 am #

    You paint pictures with words. It made me sad to read about one more awful thing my ancestors did, as if I’m to blame somehow for their shocking behaviour.

  10. Ink May 24, 2013 at 11:40 am #

    Your piece has a special meaning. Because it shows wonderful a healing process which duration ran for sure over decades of life in the past. Your recognition to be “wet” seems to be a start, which doesn`t need to exist on a special geographical point. Feeling roots inside oneself is like having homeland (in german we say Heimat) with you, where ever you are! Thank you so much for this piece!

  11. willowmarie May 24, 2013 at 12:32 pm #

    Am remembering Nfld., time to go home. Thx.

  12. Onegirl May 24, 2013 at 12:43 pm #

    That was beautiful. I want to read more.

  13. hitandrun1964 May 24, 2013 at 12:50 pm #

    Wonderful

  14. The Rider May 24, 2013 at 2:50 pm #

    You have a wonderful gift of words… I will gladly follow and learn…

  15. bookmole May 24, 2013 at 8:26 pm #

    This is wonderful. I learned something new, I enjoyed the flow of words and the imagery, and have a new blog to follow.

  16. Archita May 24, 2013 at 9:42 pm #

    Wonderful write up:)

  17. Reticula May 25, 2013 at 1:32 am #

    How courageous to participate in a write club! I’ve been trying to think how I could steal this idea for a fundraiser I’m involved in.

    And what a lovely piece of writing to come from the competition. I felt cool and damp the entire time I read it.

  18. Heather May 25, 2013 at 10:13 am #

    Wow, I can see why you won. Very awesome!!!

  19. shannon May 26, 2013 at 8:55 pm #

    I just had a listen–LOVE. You have the sweetest voice. XO

  20. searavensailing May 27, 2013 at 4:18 pm #

    the world is full of weird coincidences! I was pointed towards your blog through the blogger profile that came out a week or so ago, then while reading through, found this post. Where is the co-inky-dink you ask? Well, it began with the name of your great-grandmother, which happens to be the name we have chosen for our soon to arrive bubba (p.s don’t tell anyone else, its still a secret!), and then further down in the story you mention her sisters names, well their middle names I guess, and one of those is also my wifes name, Sabine.
    Possibly not that interesting for you, but for me, it was a huge surprise to find both of the female names that are super important to me in one paragraph, on a blog I had only just tripped over, almost by accident and almost not at all!
    Anyways, great post, and from what I have read so far, great blog. I will be clicking on the magic follow button and looking forward to reading more!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Wet (Or, I Am Acadian) | Jodi Reeves Flores - May 26, 2013

    […] reading others, and I came across an interview with the author of bellejarblog.com. Her recent post Wet (Or, I Am Acadian). is poinent and moving, and I couldn’t help but share it. It reflects so well the yurning for […]

  2. Press: Wet (Or, I am Acadian) | An Active Reader - May 26, 2013

    […] reading others, and I came across an interview with the author of bellejarblog.com. Her recent post Wet (Or, I Am Acadian) is poignant and moving, and I couldn’t help but share it. It reflects so well the yearning […]

  3. 2013 In Review: Part 1 | The Belle Jar - December 29, 2013

    […] May 20th I read my own work at Write Club which was SUPER GREAT AND AMAZING. Also I won my round and am now the owner of a […]

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